•I know there are monsters under my bed. I sleep in a bunk bed and my brother is underneath.
•I want to have 24 children. The person who wins the Hunger Games gets an allowence.
•A slide that's ninety degrees isn't a slide. It's a death fall.
•I care about natural distasters. They're my Super Bowl.
•Do you see how mall cops don't walk, but use scooters? You can easily outrun them. And what do they do when they catch you? You take a ride on a scooter!
•"The country is going down the tubes." What tubes? Is this Mario Land?
•I only watch sports when someone gets hurt. I stopped watching golf a LONG time ago.
•You know the song, "Irreplaceable?" The beginning was inspired by Nascar.
•Where does Sonic the Hedgehog keep all those rings and emeralds?
•Only Ash from Pokemon can be struck by lightning on a daily basis and live.
•You can stay as long as you want in a buffet. You can have breakfast, lunch, and dinner for one low price!
•"Indeed." A fancy all purpose word.
•Romance is dead. We got fan fiction!
•The American flag looks like a candy cane wrapped with a bow.
•Just Dance? Then why are you telling me HOW to dance?!
•Does anyone use the postal system anymore?
•Casinos, more likely to take your money than give to you.
•Call of Duty and the military are two VERY different experiences.
•If you say "Ain't nobody got time for that!" and you're not black, you lost a ton of respect from your race.
•Eggs are either a gateway to a beautiful life or a good breakfast.
•Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.
•Does it bother anyone that all best vine video complication always has a revealing girl on the icon?
•Does it bother anyone that the most viewed Wattpad books has a guy shirtless?
•There's a difference between asexual and antisexual. I learned that the hard way.
•Why do all sports announcers focus on "angles?" If I wanted to learn geometry, I'd go to school! You know I'm right.
•There's a math joke above. It's acute joke.
•There are no such thing as female rapists.
