"The greatest reason for all suicides: jokes."
"The answer for half-full/half-empty: refill the damn glass."
"You are unique in the universe. There is only one of you and there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice, it is a waste." -Eleventh Doctor
"I have a rocket launcher. Your argument is invalid."
"I suffer from premature congratulations. Always tell everyone happy birthday one day too early." -I Am Wildcat
"When shit hits the fan, you walk to the side of the fan." -Christopher Titus
"Shut up and enjoy the ice cream."
"Our love is god. Let's go get a slushie." -JD
"What's so wrong with second place?" -Morrie
"Boom! Goes the cannon, watch the blood and the shit spray and- Boom!" -George Washington
"Nag, nag, NAG!"
"Can't we just attach the lightsaber on the blaster? Americans kinda did the same thing."
"We just had a hurricane days ago, and this one is even worse?! This isn't supposed to be an earthquake and an aftershock!"
"If everyone was good in jail, could we all get pardons or can we make this place better than it is feared?"
"You run this school like a twitter page, follow me. You chose a job with a low wage salary."
"I'm sorry: you're trying to keep this PG. Sadly, you came from the era of the BG's. I rather listen to some real music: LP. Chester Bennington, I'll meet you in a century. You want a quick punch? We'll do it fast. Chester will meet you in two minutes after I kick your ass!"
"Dodge damn it!"
"I am an adult" -TFS
"May the forces of evil become confused on they way to your house." -George Carlin
"You Can-do it!"
"There are more reviews for criticism than praise. Who goes to McDonald's for praise?"
"Curse words are power."
"Too many people need to get what they deserve and far too little ever get it."
"Shiny stuff catches the eye."
"When you hold a skull, that's a lot of history you hold in your hands."
"Animals are cute."
"You ever think that if flies fight for equality, would we ever get along? We kill more flies than we did with cultural genocide of our own people."
"I used to complain how the internet was for baby animals and babies. I said that while I was watching baby animals and babies in the next hour."
"Game on MF!"
"Dear Evan Hanson, today's gonna be a good day."
"So much time in fear, you little of it alive."
"You're not allowed to do everything, but you are capable for anything."
