•Rihanna, if mispronounced, sounds like the Japanese word for rape. Oh, the irony...
•The word "Retard" means living at a level of life under the norm. There's a guy in the Olympics who ran with blades for feet. Any of us make it to the Olympics?
•There are still slaves in Europe. Thanks a lot monarchy...
•Don't imitate your girlfriend. You'll earn +5 gay points if you do. I learned that from experience; however, if your girlfriend imitates you, they get +5 badass points. I do not believe in gender equality. Girls dominate males. True fact!
•Dancing will either make you graceful or just plain stupid.
•Turtles will live longer than you. Get a pet turtle.
•In Spanish, you can change the gender of a word by "a" or "o." If girls wear bras, do guys wear bros? If girls have vaginas, do guys have vaginos? Sounds like Cherrios. Gotta love Spanish...
•Coloring your hair is to manly!!!
•Walkie talkie is a questionable name for a military. We got missle, tank, AK-47, pistol... Walkie talkie?
•I just realized that Disney shows has prerecorded audiences and songs. Then why the f'loop does it look like a sitcom?!
•I didn't get the "Uranus" joke until I got to eighth grade. A year later, I learned what an anus is. I thought an anus was the tip of a penis.
•I didn't like sports until I got to high school. I was still addicted to cartoons, comic books, and video games. I thought they were real.
•I spent 6 years on Runescape to get my levels halfway to completion. If you don't play Runescape, you will not understand this joke .
•Woah, woah, woah!!! Women have pubic hair too?! I think I'm gonna be sick! *barf*
•We finally have automatic driving cars, but we still drive anyways. Only about 100 of these cars exist. Seriously?
•I honestly don't care if you get hit by hurricanes. It happens at least once every two years.
•If you sag your pants, it means you're available. If your show your cleavage, you're available. For me, it means you're a desperate virgin. Well, I'm a virgin, but that's not the point! Least I'm not desparate.
•If you had sex but never been kissed, you've created a paradox.
•I first heard of the Connecticut shooting on Wattpad. I didn't believe at first.
•Coke is carbonated black cherry. There, I figured out the hidden Coca-cola recipe.
•I no longer have the confidence to aim my piss without supervision. Since I always pee my pants once a year, I double check my aim whenever I go.
•I never had Taco Bell in years. Hell, I haven't even eaten a taco in years!
•Humans can survive underwater. Just not for long.
•Clint Eastwood doesn't moisturize! But Clint Eastwood NEEDS to moisturize!
