Guy: I think my computer has a virus.
Me: Get it some medicine and a flu shot. It'll be better in about a week or two
*
Guy: I'm setting the firewall.
Me: I don't think you should cremate the computer, bud.
*
Guy: I'll put in the anti-virus protection.
Me: Hey, what you do in your free time is your business.
*
Guy: I had to reset the computer.
Me: You have VERY tiny fingers then.
