It's true! It's damn true! After making two more books on Anything, it's time to go back to my roots, the book that started it all!
Why am I doing this? Mainly audience targeting. See, I've been reviewing reads and votes for the past couple years. Data concludes that most of these occur much more on the first book than the other two. So boom! It's back home!
A few of my goals is to post more frequently. If not, least I can go back to nostalgia.
Of course, I'm not boring enough to keep this in one subject. Behold! The power of my humor!
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-I've always thought I'll die alone. That's the depression talking, but then I saw the bright side. The coffins are pretty small and I'd hate to share another body in MY coffin. You better pay rent and not snore on my corpse!
-Religion is basically in the heart of the beholder. There's a fine line between "This is inspiring!" to "This is very stupid."
-When people ask me for weed, I show them my lawn. I don't cut my grass.
-The further the trash bin when taking the trash out, the more we don't want to do it. "Opps, storm took my trash bin. I'll get on that later."
-The answer of never washing dishes: paper plates.
-Authority without a weapon is a teacher. Authority with a weapon is a cop.
-Water slides kill more people than falling coconuts.
-Only those living survive the Do Not Die Challenge.
-Oh, you think you can drink an entire milk gallon in one go? Hold on, I got sit down for this. Alright, let the show begin.
- If you don't tell me that stack of peppers were Ghost Peppers, I'd probably eat them all in one go. You are now an accessery to murder.
-VR is cheaper than sight seeing. Hint, hint tourist attractions.
-The mile run is cruel unusual punishment. However, those that don't mind it are usually authors. I'm not making this up.
-Where did the dinosaurs go? Easy. Disneyland. They killed themselves after riding "It's a Small World After All" the ninth time. Their ashes were scattered at a pirate ride, courtacy of the ride's employees.
-I got a 1000 degree knife, but will it blend?
-I wanted to go to a wishing well, not a relative's house where they "wish me well."
-What does a penguin do in a race? They "peng-win."
-I've been to a subway, but never had subway.
-That much security and airports are still a shooting hotspot.
-Yesterday's battleground is tommorow's gold course.
-There a big difference between starting a band and playing Rockband.
-Multiple genders, two types of bathrooms.
-I used karate during air hockey. It was self-defense.
-Have you noticed that kid's shows keep getting sadder nowadays? Up was the last straw.
-Why do PG movies have better themes than the more mature movies? Compare Inside Out to Sausage Party and see the work in awe.
-I'm fine with robot servants, so long as the clear history option is on forever.
-How to solve car accidents: bumper cars.
-The hell is vaping? Electronic smoking? Why does smoking need to be electronic? You breathe it in, breathe out, ruin your lungs and die. What part of that needs to be electronic?
-We should put pigeons in the battlefields. They can detect mines.
-Blood is plasma. Do they use blood for plasma TV's?
-When we go Republican to Democrat, we hope for the future. When we go Democrat to Republician, we hope to survive.
-Someone tell Trump we already have a chain-link fence.
-Track should only be in major cities. Replace it with driving for everywhere else.
-Bodybuilders will stop and weight a minute.
-My Anything Book is back baby!!!
