I Need You So Much (Oliver Sykes Fan Fic)

It's All In Our Heads

Song: A Candlelit Dinner With Inamorta by Asking Alexandria

Chelsea

I closed the door and resisted the urge to groan. I couldn't believe I had just cried in front of Oliver. And over my dad! I usually didn't get too worked up over him. I barely even remembered him. 

"You're finally home!" my mother called from the kitchen. Like she cares, I thought as she entered the living room. She didn't give two shits about me. "You need to call next time," she added with disapproval in her voice. 

"Sorry," I mumbled and headed towards the stairs. I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. Not now. Not ever. She only put me down every time we talked. 

"Where do you think you're going? I want an apology," she yelled as I put my foot on the first step. I cringed at how loud her voice was. I had really had enough yelling for one day already. 

"I'm sorry for not calling," I muttered. She could be so annoying. She didn't even care about me. She just wanted an excuse to yell. I started to continue walking up the stairs.

"Come back here, you ungrateful brat," she shouted. I stopped in my tracks and walked back to where she was standing. Suddenly, her palm collided with my cheek sending a wave a pain through my face. I grabbed my cheek and looked up at her in horror. She hit me like than more than I liked to think about, but it still shocked me when she did it. "That's not an apology," she told me at the top of her lungs.

"I'm sorry," I responded angrily. Then, I ran to my room and locked the door. I slid down against the door so I was sitting on the floor and let the tears come flow down my face. I pulled out my iPod from my bag and quickly plugged in my headphones. I put all my songs on shuffle and sat there for a long time.

I ended up skipping dinner because I had no desire to see my mother at that moment and she didn't call me down or maybe I just didn't hear her because my iPod was up too loud.

After awhile, I heard my mother go to bed. I was already in my own bed reading the end of my book. Soon, I put down the book, finally finished, and looked around my small room. I had a lot of posters of my favorite bands, a book case packed with books, and a large pile of CDs on my desk. In all of this, something shiny caught my eye. I looked over to my nightstand to see my razor blade. I looked at it longingly. I was trying to stop cutting, but it was hard. My mother made me feel so bad about myself and then Oliver reminded my of my dad today. I knew he hadn't meant to hurt me, but I hated thinking about my family.

I picked up the razor and played with it between my fingers for a moment before rolling up the sleeves of my jumper. I held it over my skin for a moment without it making contact thinking over the day and then suddenly, I let it slice threw my skin. It was like something had come over me, but I instantly felt relieved. It made me feel so much better. I let my mother's words slip out of my mind and tears pour down my cheeks.

After a few minutes, I put the blade down and wiped away the fresh dark red blood that was flowing out of my wrists with a tissue. I wiped away my tears and snuggled under the covers until I fell asleep.

Oliver

"Where were you, Oli?" my mum questioned as I unlocked the front door. I made my way into the kitchen where my mom was sitting with my little brother, Tom. 

"I went to go do homework with a girl in my science class," I answered, taking my bag off my shoulders and preparing myself for the questions. I hadn't had a friend in forever and especially not a girl.

"Ooo a girl. What's her name?" she teased with a bit of excitement in her voice. My mum and I had always been pretty close. She was one of the few people I felt completely comfortable with.

"Chelsea," I replied as I felt my cheeks get hot. I saw Tom raise his eyebrows and my mum give me a big smile.

"Was it a date?" she questioned. I surely did not want to admit I had a crush on Chelsea. I hated talking about my feelings. I just shrugged and opened to the fridge to grab some orange juice.

"Do you want it to be a date?" she asked. I could tell where she was going with this. Unfortunately, there wasn't a way to get around answering her questions.

"Yeah," I mumbled, pouring the juice into a glass. I felt my face get even hotter and I could tell that I was beat red.

"Aw, that's sweet Oliver. You've got a little crush," my mum squealed. I had never really had a crush on anyone before. Most of the girls at my school weren't exactly my type and by that I mean they were really slutty. "Come tell us about her," Mum ordered, pulling out a chair for me.

I quickly informed her about Chelsea giving as little details as possible. She asked what classes we had together and what she looked like and finally dismissed me to my room telling me that dinner would be done soon. I ran up to my room as fast I could and shut the door. It's not that I don't love my mum, it's just hated talking about that kind of stuff. I put on some music and sank down on my bed with my notebook. I write a lot of songs. It helps me get my feelings out and I figured that all these feelings about Chelsea would result in a good love song. I quickly scribbled down some thoughts and after about fifteen minutes, I was called down for dinner and I ran downstairs to see my dad and brother already seated at the table and my mum putting our plates down.

"So, Oliver has a crush on a girl at school," my mum announced to my dad. I let out a groan. Why had I said 'a girl in my science class?' I should've just said 'someone.'

"Oh, does he now," my father said, looking at me with raised eyebrows. He shoved some food into his mouth. "What's her name?" he asked after chewing.

I filled him in on Chelsea and he said that she sounded like a good match for me. I just nodded my agreement and finished the rest of my dinner.

As soon as I was done my dessert, I went back up stairs to finish my song. I really wanted to be in a band one day. It was my goal. Most people thought it was a crappy goal since band members don't make that much and are always on the road, but it was my passion. I loved music more than anything and to be able to play my own everyday would be the best. I knew this guy named Matt who played drums and his band had just broken up. He was a year ahead of me in school and he wanted to start a new band. Somehow he knew I wanted to be a frontman and asked me if I'd be interested, but he never said anything to me about it afterwards so I was thinking he had changed his mind.

I ended up spending the rest of the night writing and thinking about Chelsea. I couldn't get her off of my mind. I was crazy about her and to be honest, I couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.