I Need You So Much (Oliver Sykes Fan Fic)

I Will Always Love You

Song: Original Love by Cassadee Pope

Chelsea

I shut my book with a loud clap. I sighed. Even though I had read A Walk To Remember four times and could practically recite exactly what Landon and Jamie said to each other without taking a look at the book, I couldn't concentrate. My mind kept wondering to the party. I just kept replaying the whole incident over and over in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was really driving me insane. I couldn't concentrate in school, either. I had taken a math test yesterday and I knew I failed simply because I couldn't think about numbers when all I could see in my mind was James' face coming at me. I rested my head on my pillow and looked up at the ceiling. I literally just felt so hollow, like I was just the shell of myself. Why was my life so fucked up?

The better question was how could Oliver still love me? He said he loved me everyday, but how could he love someone who had had sex with another guy? If I was him, I probably would think I was disgusting. I was surprised he could look at me let alone kiss me and tell me he loved me. I had been pushing him away all week. I felt kind of bad, but I just wanted to be alone and I hoped he understood. Being alone left me to my thoughts. This voice in my head kept telling me that I was 'slut' and that it was my fault James had done what he did. It never seemed to end. All I wanted was for everything to just go away, but I knew that was just a silly dream. The past could never go away. It had happened and I had to live with it, but I wasn't doing a very good job with living with it.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed signaling I had a new text. I let a sigh escape my lips and picked it up already know who it was.

Oliver: Hey beautiful! You wanna go get dinner together? I'm starved & I feel like we haven't been spending much time together lately & I miss you

I stared down at my phone. So, he had notice that I was acting strange. I was trying to keep how I was feeling inside so he wouldn't worry. I was trying to lay low so he would think I was ok, but I guess I hadn't done too good of a job with doing so.

Me: I'm really tired. I was just gonna stay in tonight

Oliver: I'm coming over

I let out a groan. In my attempt to not worry him I had obviously just made him more worried. I didn't text back because I knew if I protested, he would just come over anyway. My mum was out with her friends since it was Friday night so it was just me. A few moments later, there was knock at the door. I ran down to get it. I had contemplated just not answering the door, but I knew he would stand there all night if he had to.

"Hey," he greeted. He reached down to give me a quick and I stepped aside to let him in. I didn't say anything. I hadn't been saying much these days. I didn't have anything to say really.

He took my hand and led me to the living room. He sat down and gestured for me to sit down next to him. I did as I was told and avoided his eyes. Couldn't he tell that I just wanted to be left alone?

"Chelsea, what's wrong?" he questioned. He put his arms around me and stroked my hair lovingly. How can he love you, you whore?  the voice in my head sneered. No matter what I did I couldn't get the voice out of my head.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I'm just tired," I lied, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. I stared down at my lap. I could feel his eyes on me and I wished he'd stop looking at me.

"Bullshit, Chelsea. You've been acting weird all week," he told me. He put one of his hands under my chin and forced me to look up at him. I was tempted to slap his hand away. Didn't he realize I was tired of being forced to do things?