I dare You

CAPITOLO 63

Liam's POV

<< HOLLY SHIT!! >>, I cry out, jumping up on the bed.

My face is completely wet, while drops of icy water are sliding down all over my chest!

What the hell of a wake up is this???

I sit down on the edge of the bed still confused about what's just happened! I look up at Corine, who's standing in front of me with a warrior look painted on her face and two empty glasses in both hands.

<< What the hell are you doing!? >>, I ask shocked and confused!

She glares at me and crosses her arms in front of her chest; << I had to wake you up! >>, her voice is still and cold.

<< And couldn't you simply call me?? Jeeez! >>, I watch her speechless, wondering to myself what the hell is wrong with her! I look at the alarm clock next to me and it's only eight in the morning!! I'm not fucking late! At all! I guess that maybe, she's just trying to make me pay for having disappeared last night, but the more I study her glaring eyes, the more I begin to understand... and to panic...

She knows.

<< Paul told you? >>, I ask in shock and she can't move her tired eyes away from mine; she's too busy sending me silently death glares.

<< No. The others did! >>.

<< What? I told it only to Paul! >>.

<< And he told it to your colleagues, also known as your best friends, you idiot! When the fuck did you plan to tell me, uh? >>.

<< I only knew about Sandra's pregnancy yesterday... I would have told you soon or later! >>.

<< Don't fuck with me Liam! You asked to Paul to not say anything, especially to me! So now I'm wondering what the hell were you waiting for! To Sandra's belly to swell like a fucking watermelon or what? >>.

<< Would you mind to stop yelling this way? >>.

<< Why? So you can better concentrate on a more convincing answer to give me? >>.

<< NO! CAUSE MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE FOR ALL THE ALCOHOL I CHOKED DOWN LAST NIGHT>>.

<< AND WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU TO GET DRUNK THAT WAY!! >>.

I push my right palm against my lips to keep my fucking mouth shut, while my left hand grabs the shits tight. I close my eyes for a moment and let out a big breath to calm myself down.

I don't want to fight with her. This is not her fault. I reacted like a stupid child yesterday and I know it... I shouldn't have panic like I did and I shouldn't have disappeared for hours to get lost in a miserable bar.

Some confused flash-backs of what happened after Paul brought me inside the hotel come up to my mind and I feel so sorry and disgusted from the way I let her see me.

I remember her slapping my face and looking at me with such a disappointed and hurt look that I can't help, but feel miserable and failed for myself. I've been weak and foolish.

If I were her I would have hit me harder!

<< I panicked... >>, I admit, keeping my eyes down on the soft carpet; << When I left you and Louis in my room, I was ready to face James... I didn't even have a plan; the only thing I wanted was to find him. But then I met Sandra... and when she told me about the baby I just couldn't believe her. I thought she was lying to make me come back with her, but she showed me the echo... >>. I interrupt the sentence, remembering that black and white picture of a tiny, tiny thing... so tiny that was barely visible, but still there and alive... << I panicked and ran outside to catch some fresh air... and when I was finally alone... I couldn't stop wondering about what would have happened next... to my career... to my relationship with Sandra and most of all, what would have happened to us! I can't lose you... >>, I force myself to look up at her and as soon as my eyes catch her hazel ones, I suddenly feel at home. She's staring at me with glossy eyes; her soft, pink lips are slightly opened apart, focused on my words and waiting for me to go on. But to go on with the truth I have to break the eye contact with her, cause I can't say the things I'm going to say and face her at the same time... << The more I thought about the baby, the more I saw him as a problem... and I hate myself for that so badly! A pregnancy announcement should bring happiness and joy, but the only feels I could feel were fear and anger! >>, I take a deep breath and place my eyes back into hers... << Then I remembered you... and what you told me about your childhood; about the fact that your father was too coward to stay and take care of you and your mother and about the way you had to grow up because of that... >>, I shiver at the simple thought of what her life could have been like... << And I felt even worse. >>.