Brown sugar and Lavender

Chapter fifteen: Love me, keep me

A/N- updated this a little earlier, three days or so because I'm working on writing yet another lesbian fic (Swanqueen from once upon a time. Don't worry if you don't watch the show, you can still read the book because I'm changing literally everything) and wanted to get some opinions! Comment if you'd read it I guess?? I dunno all I know is that I would appreciate it so much, maybe some comments would motivate me to double update next time I post? (Wink wink) THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING!

~Dai

Addisons POV:

You know those moments, when you can feel yourself screwing up? Those moments when you're not trying to screw up, you just panic?

Leaving Meredith's that night, I knew I screwed up so badly. I panicked and I got scared, so I froze up. I couldn't remember ever being that scared before in my life.

Being with Meredith was a whole new thing, it wasn't like being with Derek. People would talk, people would judge. I didn't even trust myself to be in a relationship and do it right, because Meredith deserved so much more than me and my bull shit. She deserved the world and I'd be dammed before I gave her any less. Because even though it was all new, I wanted it. I wanted her. I wanted every touch for the rest of my life to feel the way hers do, I wanted every kiss to be as delicate but passionate at the same time, I wanted everything about her to be the way I lived for the rest of my life.

I knew when she met me at Joe's, I'd have to be waiting with more than a half ass apology and a beg for her to take me back. I'd have to say more than 'I love you too, please don't leave me'.

I remember the first day I realized I loved her. I'd just come downstairs from using the bathroom and I saw Meredith leaning casually against the living room door frame. She was wearing a tank top with grey sweats, not an ounce of make up in sight. But she was still beautiful and that moment, dammit I knew I was a goner.

That was about two days before Christmas.

Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair, determined to fix this. Because I loved Meredith, and I wanted to be with her. If that meant I was taking a chance and leaving Derek, so be it.

I'd make twenty years of new memories.

But first, I had to get a favour from Joe.

Meredith's POV:

Even though I was sure she was going to let me down gently, explain she was going back to Derek, I still met up with Addison at Joe's. It was karaoke night, something Joe never did before but said he had some recent inspiration to try it.

I sat down, looking at the guy who was trying (and failing) to sing some Johnny Cash song. Addison was no where in sight, and I was getting pissed off.

She said she'd meet me here, and yet she didn't bother to show. Sighing, I got up to leave. Before I could gather my coat and purse, I heard a voice I knew I'd never forget talking through the mic on the make shift karaoke stage.

"Hi, I'm Addison and I'm singing something for someone dear to me, someone I love with all of my heart" I turn to face her, and she smiles. "Bear with me, I'm a surgeon and my musical skills only go as far as the four handed piano pieces my Mother forced me to play with my brother at Christmas. And even those sucked" the crowd chuckles, as Addison clears her throat and begins to sing.

'"One day I'll find a way to get you to sing it to me" I said, determined "Some day"

"I don't think there's anything in this world that could get me to sing. You'd have to move heaven and hell, kill a dragon and then find a wild unicorn" she laughed. '