Think Don't Speak (BOOK ONE)

C H A P T E R 18

I felt the cold of his presence surround me until my whole body was frozen still on a bench that I stopped by. Cat visited me in my weakest times, and there was no way I could stop him, no matter how hard I tried. I think. Nobody was around, to cold out, that was relieving for me knowing that I could release my feelings out into the open without getting weird and dirty looks from people. I pulled me legs up onto the bench and Rested my head on the seat of the bench while my legs dangled off the other side. I stared into the white and empty sky that made me wonder about life. What was my purpose? I asked myself. No I didn't ask myself, Cat did. I thought about who I loved, I loved Ollie of coarse, Tyler, Roby, Cat, me, Rachel. Though Cat was my fear he was still my friend who I loved. He began to tell me things that I couldn't make out in my mind, but I tried my best to block it out with my music, my favorite band, Catastrophe, although they were a very small band I still looked up to them. Yes music is my escape from life, probably, maybe, I think. I used their music to stop Cat from harassing me, It usually worked.

Cat wasn't there for long but his last words were clear as a crystal night sky to me. "Your friends think you are pathetic, just keep quiet and they won't notice your pathetic worthless life even exists." I let out a short but heavy sigh and sit up, letting the cold winter breeze brush onto my legs and other places that I'm to lazy to mention. A little voice inside my head, Cat, tells me I should go home. Cat was right, it was getting cold, really cold. Maybe he's also right about how the boys think I'm pathetic.

I should just keep quiet, maybe I'm just being a burden to them anyways, this would do them a favor. After agreeing with what Cat said, I get up leave the now empty bench that I had spent over half an hour on. I feel my pace quicken with every step, I wasn't sure why other than Im probably just really cold, but continue to now sprint towards the flat that I could see in the faint distance. My breath is unsteady and my teeth chatter, hurting my jaw, relieved to finally be just at the steps to my flat, I quickly turn the knob and jump inside,shutting the door behind my back. I kick my combat boots off to the side, I usually barley wear these since I hardly ever go out but i hadn't even realized that I had slipped these on in the first place and instantly am hit with a headache from what seems to be, drums, of coarse. They never told me anything about their instruments but the only time I had heard them I when I was tired that one night but heard the blasting drums annoy the hell out of me.

Although I am a instrument person, not to mention a singer, I was trying to get sleep, and now I had a head ache that wasn't helping me enjoy any of what they were blasting. I release a loud sigh that was Almost a groan and walk over to Tyler's room while the floor creaked with every step i got closer. They drums continued to get banged on and now I could hear and attempt at singing. I'm not saying the voice was bad, because it was amazing, but I don't think they knew or had lyrics to go off of.

I stormed over to the room and almost let my arm bang on the door in rage, but then I thought about what Cat had said. "Just keep quiet." Only part of his quote was displayed and heard through my ears. I lowered my fist that was on the urge to banging but controlled it and let it fall to my side. I mentally rolled my eyes and walked to my room, having to deal with loud and annoying music that didn't even make sense to me. I closed my bedroom door and instantly jumped onto google. I was searching for job applications from around here and to make my day less stressful I found a local record store that I had seen around here a couple times, but never went inside. I sent them an email with the requirements that were on the sheet and laid back on my my bed, sighing with accomplishment I waited patently for a reply. I listened to the clock tic that rested on the wall and the realized the boys weren't blasting loud music anymore. I let out a stupid smile to my very own thought of wondering if they might have a
Magazine at the record shop on how to train your boys.

Wiping the grin off my face, I realized that the people at the record store had already replied back and instantly I felt my blood pressure rise. Freaking out, I wondered if I got the job or not I opened the email and bursted out another stupid grin and squealed. I read the email over and over again until I fully registered what it said. I got the job! They told me about the job and who ill be with, my breaks, shifts etcetera.

I felt my face have an uncontrollable smile smacked right onto it as I jumped over to my bed, shutting the night light off so the room was pitch black. Although I was horrified by the dark, it was only usually when I was walking around in it. I felt my body relax into a deep sleep, knowing ill wake up to my first day at the record store just down the street, they needed me tomorrow after their last employe- well lets not go into detail. I soundlessly drifted off into a deep slumber, not having any night terrors that night.