Random Person: *blah blah blah they're just talking about shit you don't give a fuck about*
Me: WHOA WHOA WHOA SLOW DOWN THERE M8 I GOTTA RECORD ALL THIS *pulls out a piece of paper and a writing utensil* Could you repeat all of that for me?
RP: *repeats whatever they just said*
Me: *pretends to write everything down while listening intently but is really just writing nonsense* Alright, I've heard enough.
RP: But I wasn't finished yet-- *watches as I rip up the paper* --what are you doing?
Me: *gathers all the paper shreds into a pile* See these? These are all the fucks I give. *gets up to throw the shreds into a recycling bin* Oh no, they're all gone now. At least they're disposed of properly and for a great cause. Don't you feel special inside for contributing to the environment?
I'll be honest, this is probably the toppest of kek of roasts that I'll ever come up with.
