Apologies to the Frozen haters reading this...
But anyways, Elsa and Anna will be parentless and living together in an apartment in this AU crack (as I will call it).
And this will all take place in a bar.
This was one of my favorite scenes from the movie :3
Kristoff: So, uh, tell me. What made your sister go all crazy like you said earlier?
Anna: Oh, well, it was all my fault. I had sex, but then she freaked out because I'd only just met him, you know, that day. She said she was gonna ground me for two years and--
Kristoff: Wait, you had sex with someone you just met that day?
Anna: Yeah. Anyway, I got mad and so she got mad and then she tried to walk away and I grabbed her sleeve--
Kristoff: Hang on, you mean to tell me you had sex with someone you just met that day?
Anna: Yes--pay attention--but the thing is she wore long sleeves all the time, so I just thought 'maybe her skin is just super sensitive.'
Kristoff: Didn't your parents ever warn you about strangers?
Anna: Yes they did. *scoots high chair away* But Hans is not a stranger.
Kristoff: Oh yeah? What's his last name?
Anna: *scoffs* The Pussy Slammer. (I didn't know what else to call him I'm sorry xDD)
Kristoff: What's his favorite food?
Anna: Watermelon.
Kristoff: Best friend's name?
Anna: Probably Bob.
Kristoff: Eye color?
Anna: Dreamy.
Kristoff: Foot size?
Anna: Foot size doesn't matter. (Someone please reveal to me the dirtiness in this joke and tell me if I'm wrong because I believe by foot size they mean dick but I dunno maybe I'm still too innocent for this innuendo ;-;)
Kristoff: Have you checked his phone yet? What if you don't like his meme type? What if you don't like his hentai collection--
Anna: Hentai collection?
Kristoff: --and how he jerks off to it?
Anna: Excuse me, sir, he is not a weeb.
Kristoff: All men do it.
Anna: Ew. Ah-pfft, look, it doesn't matter. It's true love.
Kristoff: Doesn't sound like true love.
Anna: Are you some sort of love expert?
Kristoff: No...but I have friends who are.
Anna: You have friends who are love experts? I'm not buying it.
Kristoff to Kristoff: Tell her you have friends in Broadway.
