Shawn Mendes Imagines

Bully (You Killed Her(2))

A/N

So people requested a part two. So I decided to make one enjoy :)

Shawn POV

You killed her.

That is a strong three words.

You- you did it. You have to be gulity. You have the blame. All you. Its about you. The word you, it is so important because it is about you. And your life. Your future. Your feelings.

Killed- no I didn't physically put the gun to her head. She did that. She physically pulled the trigger. But I mentally did. I made that thought came to mind. The death happened.

Like I said. You. I did it. All blame on me.

Her- I killed her. She didn't anything. Her breakup with me was no good reason to torment her. Her life was miserable. Her days were started, carried on and ended in physical and mental pain. Her life was taken away way before she pulled that trigger. It was her deed to pull it. But it was I who made her want to.

Her mom told me that.

"You killed her!" She screamed at Y/N's funeral.

Why did I go to her funeral?

I couldnt bare with killing a girl then not have the littlest of respect to go say sorry to her lifeless body.

As if I have respect for anything anymore.

She cried and told security to take me out.

"I didn't say sorry," I said.

"You don't deserve to!"

No I didn't Ms. Y/L/N. I did not in any means deserve to say sorry to her. I still said sorry to her grave. Every day.

"I'm sorry Ms. Y/L/N," I pled.

"It's to late for sorry. She is gone. All sorry is now is just a word,"

My dad had anger issues.

In which he took out on me. Many nights.

Y/N knew that. That is where my anger issues came from. They are intense. Very brutal and come at the worst times. Bipolar anger is the worst kind. You can be laughing and randomly get overly mad at the most stupid thing ever. So when she broke my heart. It got out of control. I just wanted to hurt everything. She never deserved to be the target. Why she was I don't honestly know. I wanted revenge..

Man did I get revenge

And man revenge sometimes isn't sweet.

Now I was sitting at her grave. Flowers placed with dying pedals and new ones gathered in bunches.

"Iğ

m sorry. I loved you," I said quietly. "Everyone blames me. For your death. I blame me too. Because I know. You told me. I killed you. I told you to kill you: yourself. I told you to end your life. I made you kill yourself. I did kill you. And now sorry is really just words. And they don't mean anything. Unless ghosts. Wait angles. Because you are too amazing to be called a average ghost. But unless angles can forgive people. Which I wouldn't know. But that isn't the point. I can't do anything to make you come back. No easer or sorry can fix what I did. But I still say sorry. I have to. I'm even more of a fucked up person if I don't. I know surprise. I can be more cruel. I wish I wasn't like this. So vile. Evil. But I am. I'm sorry you had to deal with it. I hope one day I will be content with myself. But I will never forgive myself for what I did to you. How could I? I killed you. But I gave to say it. I hope event can forgive myself one day. Until then. I love and bye,"

A/N

What did I just write.