Shawn Mendes Imagines

Distance

Shawns POV

"Has she called you yet?"

"No," I groaned.

"How many times have you called her?"

"A lot."

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I stared at the club around me. People dancing. Laughter. Music blaring. The smell of alcohol making me cringe.

"Come on Shawn stop thinking about her. Lets go." I shook my head. He made it sound so easy. Like she didn't control me. The thing about Y/N is, she as like my puppet master. She didn't force me to do things, But the thought of her did. She drove me crazy. But she also kept me from insanity. I ran my hand through my hair. Tugging on the strands and biting my lip.

Why did she have to do this to me?

"I'm. I'm just going to get some fresh air." I excused myself and walked outside. The cool air replacing the hot sweaty atmosphere. I glanced down at my phone.

Nothing.

I sighed, my body sagging as I started to pace the back alley.

I pressed her contact and shakily called.

"Hello please leave a message I will get back to you!"

Her voice had so much fire behind it. So alive and full of energy. Like her. She was always wild. Sparking and flaming. Outbursts of her huge personality.

Kind of like us together. We were fire. Growing at fast spurts.

But it seemed the spurts were the only glow we had. And when this happened, the fire dimmed.

Without her, everything dimmed.

"Hey Y/N. You uh left two days ago. And I have checked around and none of your friends know where you are. Again," I said frowning to myself. "Please call me back Y/N. I am here whenever you do. I love you."

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"You have to stop letting her do this to you Shawn."

"Why?"

"Because man. She is using you. She will leave you and go anywhere she wants. And when she is broken again and needs attention she knows you will always been there to give her what she wants."

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I kicked the pebbles on the cement of the alley.

What was I doing?

I thought about going back into the club with my friends.

But instead I walked down the sidewalk.

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"She isn't like that."

"Yes she is Shawn. You two have a bad relationship. You need to end it."

"Shut up!"

"You know it is the truth. You are holding onto nothing."

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The night was calm. My mind wasn't. But my surroundings were. The river's soft waves were the almost only noise in the park after midnight. I sat down on the cold bench. Hooking my fingers around the edge and leaning over my knees to look at the moon's reflection glistening off the ripples of the black water.

"Why do I love you?" I asked quietly.

I stared at my shoes. The ones she loved. She would sneak them with her to work and wear them. Even if they were a size too big for her, and they were just normal Converse. She claimed they were special to her. And carrying a piece of jewerly to remind her of me was too cliche. She was always not one for cliche.

She didn't take my shoes.

That terrified me.

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"Shawn I found a girl you might like."

"I won't."

"Shawn sooner or later Y/N will leave forever. Or you will notice she isn't worth waiting. Why don't you give this other girl a chance?"

"Because I won't like her."

"How do you know?"

"Because how can I like one girl when I already gave my heart away?"

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I bit my lip and leaned against the wooden bench. Squeezing my eyes shut and letting out a frustrated sigh.

My phone rang. I quickly answered.

"Y/N!"

"Shawn where are you?"

I frowned.

"You aren't Y/N."

"No sadly. Just your best friend," He said sarcastically.

"Sorry." I wasn't sorry. I needed her to call me. I needed her to respond.

"Where are you? You left the club."

"Somewhere I will be coming home soon."

"Shawn we can come get you an-"

"Bye." I hung up the phone before he could say another word. My throat was burning. Like I swallowed fire. Burning in my lungs. I tried holding everything in. All my emotions. But she was too much. The image of her leaving me in my mind.

I gasped.

Tears leaked from my eyes and my lungs seemed to explode.

Along with the anger in me.

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"Shawn why do you stay?"

"Because she needs someone to go back to. Everyone needs someone to lean on."

"But she runs away and instead of coming back to lean on you. She destroys you."

"Destroys?"

"Every time she comes back. She comes with false hope. Like she wont leave again. And it makes you happy. But the thing is. It is perfect then. But when she leaves again everything falls apart. It destorys you Shawn."

"But she builds me up."

"Soon she won't. She will just break you down and leave you like that."

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I stood. And started walking. Huffing. My fists clenched.

We fought before she left.

Not that big of a fight. But we did argue. About how she couldn't keep not answering. That she could be hurt. And she said that I couldnt control her.

The thing about Y/N is; she has to be free.

She can't be commited. She couldn't be held down.

I called her again.

"Hello please leave a message I will get back to you!"

I exhaled and started.

"Look. I love you Y/N. Remember that. But I can't do this. You disappearing all the time. And coming back when you feel like it is necessary. Now I know. I have done wrong too. And I am sorry about that. So what do we do now Y/N? Everything we built we broke it. It's all shattered and broken. But I can't get you out of my head. I thought you were the one." I took a deep breath. "This is the last time I will do this. If you love me. If you care. Call me back. I know you are listening to this. So you got a minute to call me back. If you don't. We are done. Simple. Just Y/N. Really do remember I love you."

I hit the end button. And looked up at the stars.

Ring

"Hello?"

"Hello Shawn." I smiled.

"Hello Y/N."

A/N

Hi. Im sorry about the time it took to write this. I had technical and mental difficulties. But I hope you liked it!

Btw Shawns tattoo. Is whoah am I right?