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Shawn's POV
"Help me" I whispered. I felt cold. Staring at the florescent light, my breaths trickling out my lungs so slow that I could barely tell I was alive.
It's like the walls are caving in
A tear slipped down my cheek. My hand shook against the tile. I bit the inside of my cheek, begging myself to not yell or punch or kick.
Sometimes I feel like giving up
My phone vibrates next to me
But I just can't
Text from Papa xx
Love you Shawn. Hope you are having fun in Japan. Can't wait to see you at your next show. Mom says she loves you too.
It isn't in my blood
I sigh and send him a text back, then set my phone back down.
Laying on the bathroom Feeling nothing
I close my eyes and try to smile. But I just end up standing and looking at myself in the mirror. At my mangled hair and the sweat dripping down my face.
I'm overwhelmed and insecure
I glanced at my bag. "Come on Shawn!" I hear.
Give me something
I grab the bottle of pills in the pocket and swallow a couple quickly before stuffing them back in my bag.
I could take to ease my mind slowly
I smile to msyelf. Then I wiped my face and walked out of the bathroom.
"Let's go!" I exclaimed. My team cheers and we go to leave my hotel room.
Thirty minutes later we are in this restaurant/bar. We are laughing and eating some delicious food I've never had before.
"You good Shawn?" One of my friends asked. I nodded.
"Yeah yeah. Just homesick." He laughed and pushed my shoulder. He handed me a cold one.
Just have a drink and you'll feel better
I take a sip, cringing a little. A few drinks later and I forget how bad it tastes. Everyone is having a great time. We are now just hanging out in the bar area. A girl is at my hip, talking to me sweetly. My friend to the side of me keeps whisper cheering me on.
Just take her home and you'll feel better
She snakes her arm around my back. I grab her hand lightly and she smirks. I move her hand back to her side and she frowns. She calls me a dick and stomps off.
