He Loves Me Not *Under Editing*

Love, it will always be taken away.

"I'm sorry, but I am dating Alex, he doesn't have cancer."

"Oh, dear."  They looked at each other with a nervous expression.  I excused myself to find Alex.  He was talking to his mom.  "Happy birthday love.  May I kiss you?  Hey, what's wrong?"

My arms were crossed and I was glowering into his eyes.  "I know Alexander."

"Know what?"  I stared into his brown eyes.  I grabbed his arm and drug him upstairs.  I walked him into his room and shut the door behind us.  I turned around and he was sitting on his bed.  "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me about the cancer."  He opened his eyes wide.  I leaned against his door waiting for an answer.  "Who told you."

"It doesn't matter who told me, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you worrying about me, I was going to tell you after the party but then it happened and I was just worried about making you better."

"That isn't an excuse."

"I, I know."

"How much longer do you have then?"

"About two months."

"Two months!?"

"I was hoping that you wouldn't find out until there was no other option."

"I only have two months left with the love of my life?"  He sighed and nodded his head.  I slid down the door and looked at my knees.  He got up and came over to me.  He sat down on the wall next to me and snaked his arm around mine.  "I should've told you."

"Who else knows?"

"Laurie, Chyna, Cam, Isaiah's parents, your mom."

"You told everyone but me."  It wasn't a question, it was an observation that I was the last to know.  I got up and walked over to his bed.  He looked at me with sorrowful eyes.  I laid back on his bed and covered my eyes with my hand.  I slid it off and saw him towering over me.  "You never answered my earlier question."

"What was that Alex?"

"May I kiss you?"

"You don't have to ask."

"Yes, I do.  So, can I?"

"Yes."  He crawled on top of me and gently brought his lips down on me.  I molded my mouth to his.  I was breathing hard and my heart started beating fast.  He pulled away and looked at me.  I kept moving my eyes around the room.  He rolled off of me.  "That was a bad idea."

"Um, a little bit yeah.  But this isn't"  Before he could respond, I crawled on top of him and brought my lips down on his.  I felt safer knowing that I could get up at any time.  He gently rubbed my arms as I held them down by his chest.  The kiss deepened into something more real.  Neither of us dared to stop.  He slowly brought his arms around my head and cradled my face.    I slowly started to lay down on him.  He moved his hands to be around my back.  Our lips never left each other.  My hands moved up and down his sides.

This went on for ten minutes before he turned his head to the side.  I leaned my head against his cheek.  "Why do you always stop?"

"Many reasons."

"Enlighten me."

"I don't want to take advantage of you.  It wouldn't be fair to push you so far after recent events.  We are also being incredibly rude people by leaving all of our friends and family downstairs."

"Alex just say it."

"I can't.  I don't want to hurt you."  I brought my head up and looked at his side.

"Hurt me?  Or hurt you?  I have accepted the fact that I was raped.  I cannot turn back time to fix it, so I am not going to dwell on it.  If I feel too uncomfortable, I will stop.  You need not worry about me."  He nodded but didn't turn his head back to me.  I rubbed my nose against his cheek and kissed his jaw all the way down to the chin.  

He finally turned his head back to me and nibbled on my ear.  I felt my legs turn to jelly as he moved his lips down my collarbone.  He flipped me onto his back and I ran my hands through his hair.  His hand slid up my shirt.  He froze right below my chest.  He nipped at the skin on my collarbone and I moaned.  We heard knocking on the door.  "What is going on in there?"

"Uh, nothing."  My boyfriend slapped his hand over his face and I giggled.

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"It was, we'll be down in a minute."  I looked at him as he was getting up.  He muttered something about a cold shower and I gave him a hug.  I could tell that only made it worse and I released him.  He walked out of the room with a towel and I sat on his bed.  I finally took a good look around and noticed that he was not the typical messy guy.  His desk was slightly cluttered around the edges but he had room for homework.  Cam came upstairs and saw me.  "Chyna has been looking for you."

"She will be for quite a while."

"What happened between you two?"

"Try you two not telling me that my boyfriend has terminal cancer and only two months left to live."

"He told you?"

"Only after I forced it out of him."  Alex slid past Cam with damp hair and a towel around his neck.  I sucked in a breath as I noticed his toned chest and arms.  I looked down and noticed a small scar on his left side.  I looked back at Cameron and muttered 'where is it?'  He drew a circle around his left side and left.  I got up and walked over to Alex before he put on a shirt.  I put my head against his chest and whispered to it.  "I hate you."

"You hate me?"

"No, I hate the cancer inside of you."

"But it is a part of me, love."

"No, I am a part of you, it is an intruder."  I looked up at him.  He bent down and gave me a quick peck on the lips before throwing on a shirt and dragging me back downstairs.  The guests had left, even my parents.  Alex said he would drive me home and we got walked down the driveway to his truck.  "Can I drive?"

"Are you sure?"

"You have two months left, I am going to show you how well I drive a stick."

"Alright."  He hopped into the passenger seat and I walked around to the front seat.  I crawled in the cab and adjusted the seat.  He handed me the keys and I put them in the ignition.  I easily pulled away from the curb and we had a safe ride home.  I pulled up in front of my house and kissed him.  Before anything could be said, I jumped out and ran inside.  I refused to let him say goodbye to me.  If he said goodbye, he may actually leave me, and I wasn't about to have that.