He Loves Me Not *Under Editing*

3... Two... 1

The rest of yesterday was spent in awkward silence where no one knew what to say.  I woke up this morning, not wanting to go to school.  It was the last day, and I should probably go, I just didn't want people that didn't know me hugging me and offering their condolences.  Alex wasn't going either, and Jake and Laurie never went.  I texted Emily, but she had to be there for the senior exit, apparently a club she was in organized the whole thing.  God, next year I would be a senior, and then a college freshman.

I woke up at nine a.m. and wandered into the kitchen to see one of my two options sitting at the table eating cereal.  That was the other thing, I had until tomorrow to make a decision and I couldn't bring myself to find one.  I tried to put it out of my mind, but no matter what, it rushed back in like a freight train.  

On one hand, I really loved Alex, and I could see us together in our thirties with two little kids running around our feet.  On the other, I REALLY wanted to see why I felt the strong attraction to Jake that I did.  We fought less, and everything was as simple as breathing.

I had even tried listing the pros and cons of each of them. 

PROS FOR ALEX:                                                                        CONS FOR ALEX:

Hot.  Like, really hot.                                                               A lot of family baggage

Nice, and not afraid to show his emotions                    We tend to fight.

Slightly possessive at times, and it's kinda hot.          He didn't even know I existed until Chyna                                                                                                                 told him about me.

Parents like him.

PROS FOR JAKE:                                                                          CONS FOR JAKE:

We never fight.                                                                              Didn't let it be known that he liked me until                                                                                                              Alex and I started dating.

He's also really hot.                                                                     Laurie would kill me.

Genuinely nice guy.                                                                      It would crush Alex.

Has liked me from ninth grade.                                              Parents don't know about him.

Both of them were amazing guys, and that was the problem!  Why couldn't one of them be an utter piece of shit and make my decision easier?  I needed to talk to someone, like Chy-.  No, she was gone, and I couldn't talk to her.  I'd talk to Laurie, but she was biased, so was Emily.  I sat at the other end of the table and picked at the placemat.  The wood was smooth under my fingers compared to the rough stitching of the placemat.  I didn't even look Alex in the eyes from the moment I entered the dining room.  

We sat in our awkward silence until he finished his bowl of cereal.  "Are you going to eat anything, or de-thread the placemat?"

I jutted out my lower lip and shook my head, I wasn't hungry, and it's not like I had anything planned for today.  I could eat whenever.  I did stop picking at the loose threads on the placemat, though.  He rinsed his bowl and spoon out and put them in the dishwasher, it must've been full because he started it and rejoined me on the table, this time sitting next to me.