He Loves Me Not *Under Editing*

Burning in the depths of Hell

I woke up ten minutes after my alarm.  No makeup today I guess, it's not like I am trying to impress anyone anyways.  I throw on my ripped, skinny jeans and one of his hoodies.  I start to run behind as I am brushing my hair so I throw it in a messy bun and run outside.  I make it into Chyna's car as she starts to pull away from the curb.  I take it she knows about the competition between Alex and I.  Since they are such good friends, I would expect nothing less.  I have set my goal to resist the urge to break first.  "So, how are you holding up?"

"He isn't really dead, so I am doing fine."

"Denial is normal Cyd, but one day you are going to accept it."  I tear up at the nickname, he is the only one that uses it on me.  I take it she is on his side and trying to get me to break first.

"Only he calls me that."

"Whatever you say Chicha."  We pull up to the school and have to race in there so we aren't late for class.  I make it to Anderson's with no breath left as the bell rings.  "I-am-not-late."

Anderson nods and starts writing on the board.  I open my book and start reading.  I keep glancing at the empty seat next to me until it is filled by one of my friends.  "Where is my ex?"

"Oh, he is having surgery.  But, our parent's are on this thing that we have to see how well we fare without each other so I have to pretend that he is dead."

"I take it that you want to beat him?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"I shall aid you then."  Anderson shushes us so we go back to reading.  I am okay with Laurie sitting there, but she isn't Alex.  No! Stop that, don't think about that or you will lose.  I start tapping my foot impatiently and running my hands through my hair.  I was seriously not going to make it through the day without my anchor being here.  

I brought his hoodie to my nose and inhaled the scent.  I thought it would make it easier, yet again I was wrong.  My heart ached as I inhaled his sweet smell.  The bell rang and I stomped my way to math in a huff.  How many days could I last like this?  I wasn't even halfway through the first day and I already missed him.  

Math was just as sucky as English, as was Spanish, and even lunch.  Chyna and Cameron tiptoed around the situation and I was practically a turtle with my face in his sweater constantly.  Two more periods then I could go home and figure out what to do next.  Maybe if I texted him, someone would answer so I knew if he was out of surgery or not.  If he was, I would probably go,  we have established that I am a wimp and definitely going to lose this thing.  I honestly need him more than I thought I would, and I don't know what to do with that information.  I decide to skip the last two periods, if I don't show up, nothing happens since I am technically there of my own volition and didn't change the grade book for two periods.  

Chyna agreed to drop me off at home before going back to school to pick up Cam.  Apparently he got grounded from his car because he was home after curfew from a date with Chyna.  She eyed my rented truck from him in the driveway and shook her head.  I guess I could have taken it today, oh well.  I go inside and throw my backpack on my bed.  I turn my radio on and Pompeii blares through the room.  I frickin' love Bastille.  I pull out my phone and see and an incoming message from an unknown number.  Huh.  

Unknown Number: Alex just made it out of surgery and is recovering well.  He is asleep but he keeps muttering your name.  This is Amanda, I took your number out of his phone.

I saved the number under her name and stared at my screen.  Should I go over there?  Should I let him win?  Should I surprise him so I am there when he wakes up?  Ugh, relationships are hard.  

I text Chyna and ask her what I should do.  She was absolutely no help.  "Follow your heart" is bullshit advice to give to someone in my predicament.  I take it she told Cam not to answer because when I asked him, he said it was my decision.  Screw 'em.  I decided that there was only one way I was going to pick: A coin flip.

I grabbed a quarter out of my purse and held it on top of my thumb.  I flicked my thumb quickly and watched as my fate spiraled out of my grasp.  I decided that head was stay and tail was go.  In essence, I would be going with my tail tucked between my legs.  Get it?  My radio shifted to All Alone by Gorillaz.  Hashtag my life...  It pulsated through the air as my coin bounced off the ground three times before lying still.  Tails.  Well, looks like I am losing this bet.

I grabbed the keys that let to the rusted truck and climbed into the driver's seat.  It was a little warm being late May.  I turned on the air conditioner and peeled out of my driveway.  Coasting through the streets without a problem, I quickly arrived at Lutheran Hospital.  I hated hospitals.  I pulled up to the free valet and tossed the teenager my keys.  

Looking at the tall building, I took in a few breaths before stepping through the door.  I realized I didn't know where his room was.  Shit.  I walked up to the lady sitting behind a counter.  I remember being here when my mom was pregnant.  That memory brought a nervous shudder through my body.  I queasily approached the woman behind the desk, "Excuse me, can you look up a patient for me?"

"Yes, just give me their name."

"Alexander Peterson."

"He is in Room 407, but it says he is only taking family members at this time, what relation are you to the patient?"

"I am his sister."

"Okay, have a nice day."  Have a nice day?  In a hospital?  Not happening.  I debated taking the stairs before I swallowed my pride and pressed the elevator button.  I tiptoed in and pressed four.  Before the doors closed, another person got on.  Great, they would have to see my freak out.  

I stood in the corner as I heard the beeps signaling what floor we were on.  I heard two before the stranger got out.  Thank God.  There was another beep before it hit my destination and I quickly exited the death trap.  407, 407, Room 407.  I glanced at the doors as I paced by.  I skipped over the right door so I went back to it.  It was shut.  I gently knocked and waited for someone to answer it.  This isn't a fricking house Cydney, they aren't going to answer it!

It was now or never.  I pushed the door open and saw him laying on the bed sleeping.  His parents were both sitting on the couch and looked up as I came in.  Amanda smiled as Adam glowered.  We were probably never going to get along.  I shut the door behind me and sat in the chair in the corner.  

Amanda got up and dragged her husband with her.  I looked at her with wide eyes.  It was one thing to be in a room with someone that wasn't in good health, but alone?  She gave me a reassuring smile and made the excuse that she was hungry.  After they left, I pulled one of the chairs by his bed and lightly picked up his hand.  "Well baby, you won.  I'm here, and you didn't even ask for me.  School sucked without you, and the valet parked your shitty car."

I saw a ghost of a smile waver on his lips as he tried to wake up.  I wanted to tell him not to worry, that I wasn't going anywhere, but I couldn't form the words.  "As long as the guy at the valet didn't touch you and only touched my car, we are okay."

I laughed and gently squeezed his hand.  God, I loved this bastard.