He Loves Me Not *Under Editing*

Him. And her. Together. Because of me.

I want to talk to him so badly. But I know that won't do anything. He walks in with Laurie. Holding her hand. I growl and face my book again. He walks over to his desk with her. He stops and slams his books on her desk. I flinch and glance up at him. He takes that opportunity to kiss her. Anderson turns around and says the most beautiful words ever uttered, "If you two would quit sucking face for a moment, then maybe we would be able to do our work."

I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back a laugh. Laurie goes to her seat after kissing him one more time. Alexander plops down and opens his book. I can smell cologne. He never wore that before. I gag from the strength of it. Anderson walks beside me and opens the window. How it opens prevents rain from getting inside. I stare out the window absently and watch the drops slide down the glass. It is so beautiful that I zone out completely. I hardly notice the bell ringing.

I make my way to math careful to avoid Alexander. I end up being a minute late and he glares at me as I take my seat. Since we started dating I moved back to being in front of him. For the first half hour, it goes well, until he becomes annoying. I start feeling these little flicks. I reach my hand up and move it around my shoulder. I find something that isn't hair or clothes and pull it to my eyes. A paper football. This boy is using paper footballs to annoy me.

I decide that two can play that game and just ignore him. He starts breathing on my neck. I can tolerate many things, but invading my bubble is too much. I raise my hand. "Thompson."

"Sir, I am finding it difficult to focus. Peterson keeps breathing down my neck and flicking paper footballs at me."

"Peterson stop. If I hear one more complaint I am sending you to the office. Understood?" He nods his head and mutters tattletale under his breath. I reach behind my back and flip him off.

I finish my work early and my teacher lets me go to my locker. He really means I can leave and not come back but if the office asks he doesn't want to get in trouble. I gather my things and leave.

I make it to Spanish right as the bell to signal the end of class rings. I take my seat and start on the Warmup. Alexander comes in and sits next to me. I roll my eyes and continue to write. It comes in with him and sits on his lap until a minute before the final bell rings. She kisses him goodbye and walks to her class next door. He decided last class that his shenanigans weren't going to work and he leaves me alone until the end of Spanish. I go to lunch where Cam and Chyna are already there. I go sit down and apparently that makes Alexander think it is a good time to come up to me. "Cameron, can I speak to you. Privately?"

"No."

"Why?"

"One, because anything you need to say you can say in front of my girlfriend and our best friend. Two, because you didn't acknowledge their existence which is rude, and three, because if you are going to continue to be a dick then I want nothing to do with you." My ex huffs and stomps away. I smirk at Cam. Maybe I can get through this breakup without wanting to cry every three minutes. He tells us that he will have to talk to him in his next class because we aren't there to save him. I grin and tell him not to worry.

I look at Chyna then look outside at the pouring rain and she knows what I mean. She kisses her boyfriend and tells him not to worry. We both know where their last class is and where the windows are. The bell rings and we part ways. Chyna and I walk around the building until we get to the door by their window. Before going outside we wave to Cam. I take off my hoodie so my black t-shirt is the only thing on. Chyna does the same and we put them in a dry spot right by the door.

We walk around to the window and start dancing. In the rain. Cam's friends elbow each other and point to the window. We start laughing but keep dancing. Alex shakes his head. We have gathered the attention of everyone in the class so we start making faces. I see people nod their head and point at me. Chyna just laughs harder and starts rolling in the wet grass. I dance a little more and slip. Before I slip I see Alex jump out of his seat and march over to a guy on the other side of the room. I guess I'll never get to find out what happened because I am laughing to hard.

We go inside again and make our way to the bathroom to change. We walk out and see a tense Alex at the water fountain. Chyna and I are still laughing at what we did and sadly he notices our existence. "What in the hell did you two think you were doing?"

I ignore his question and keep walking away with my wet shirt in my hands. He grabs my arm not happy with my ignoring him. That was a bad thing to do. "Answer my question Cydney."

"No. But this time, you are going to let me finish. I felt horrible yesterday. Everyone has told me that you deserved to know and I agreed with that. I couldn't let you love me knowing that I had killed your best friend. I didn't need you to tell me I was a murderer because for a year that is how I felt. Even with people trying to convince me otherwise. You lost your shit on my best friends when you found out that they knew too. They were there for me when I needed a friend. I know that you felt as if there was something you could have done. Convince him to ditch me that night and go get pizza instead. I know you felt that there was something you should have been able to do because I feel that way too. That doesn't give you any right to lash out at me like you did. I understand that you were angry. I can accept your initial reaction. Hell, I can even forgive it. What I can't accept is you trying to get back at me by orally screwing your ex by my desk and taunting me in math. You told me never to talk to you again and I was holding up my end of the deal. You want me to talk to you now? Fine, I'm talking. I am telling you everything that you did to me. I hurt you, I know that. But what you are doing is despicable. You are acting like a kid in order to hurt my heart. I loved you too Alex. I might even still love you, but I couldn't have you love me when I couldn't even love myself. I can't love you now that you are doing this to me."

Chyna pulled me away by my shoulder as he just stared at us with a giant O forming his mouth. The same face I held the first day we met. It seems like so long ago even though it was only five months. Or more. "He loved you?"

"Yeah, he told me on the day I told him about Isaiah."

"Wow." That was all she could say and I was okay with that. We sat in the main hall playing on one of the checkerboards until Cam finished classes. We may be done with school, but he had credits he was trying to squeeze in before senior year so it could be a fly by year. He comes out an hour later. "Holy shit you guys, you won't believe what happened."

"What Hon?"

"So while you guys were out there this kid across the room says, 'I wouldn't mind her clothes getting wet for me' or something to the effect of sex and Alex jumps up. He goes over there and says, 'Don't say that about her.' The guy responds with, 'It's not like you're going to get into her pants anytime soon.' Alex looks like he is about to deck him and then I step in and I'm like, 'Alex, you dropped her like a hot tamale, let this guy have his fun.' Alex then storms out of the class, and when he comes back it's even worse."

"That last part is because I told him off. But who is the guy?"

"You know Michael?"

"No!"

"Yeah."

"Give me his number."

"Why?"

"Because two can play Alexander's game."