He Loves Me Not *Under Editing*

Oh my damn

We raced out of the ballpark while holding hands.  I couldn't stop laughing despite the throbbing in my hand.  We made it to the truck and jumped inside.  As I was sliding into my seat my hand hit the center console.  I clenched my teeth and hissed.  He must have caught that and he cradled my hand as I adjusted myself into the seat and looked at my fragile phalanges.  He bent down and gently put his lips to all five of my fingers.  I blushed uncontrollably.  "I guess my plan for tonight fell apart huh?"

"It's okay, no one exactly plans maleficent assholes."

"No, it really isn't okay, I wanted tonight to go perfectly."

"Alex, really, it's better because everything goes better when it's messed up."

"I don't follow your logic."

"Obviously, you have never seen a chick flick."

"Have you forgotten who my ex is?"

"Good point."

"Did you know I was a virgin?"

"What does that have to do with anything Alex?"

"I planned tonight...  So... Ya know..."

"Oh,  OH!  Aww Alex, did you really plan this for tonight?"

"Yeah, I wanted it to be perfect, like in the movies.  I asked your parents and everything."

I started giggling.  "This isn't funny Cyd."

"Yeah, yeah it kind of is, you are so nervous that something will go wrong, but honey, I love you no matter what and I don't care if it is in the spur of the moment or planned to a T."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Good, because I have other things planned for tonight."

"Then lead away!"  He kissed my hand again and gently held it as we drove out of the almost empty parking lot.  The throbbing was lessening and it was really uncomfortable for me to cross my arm across my body.  I took my hand out of his and replaced it with the one encapsulated in the scratchy cast.  I watched as his thumb rubbed against the plaster without fail.  How was it possible to love someone so much even though you knew they were going to be ripped from you in a matter of days?

We pull into a McDonalds drive thru and I start laughing.  This was the perfect night.  I hear a familiar voice through the speaker ask what we'd like to order.  "Cam, it that you?"

"Um, yeah."

"Oh my damn."

"Shut up Alex.  What do you want to eat?"  Alex looks at me and I mouth thirteen.  He orders two meals and two root beers, one large, and one medium.  We pull up to the window and he throws money at Cameron.  He flips us off and throws the change inside the car.  It hits my injured hand and I whisper a curse.  Alex glares at Cam who raises his eyebrows.  "She took out a college guy with that hand you dick."

"How was I supposed to know?"

"I've been talking about tonight with you for two weeks."

"Wait, her parents agreed?"

"Yeah."  A car honked behind us and we pulled forward, but not before Alex flipped Cam off.  We grabbed our food and thanked the teenage girl behind the window.  I was sipping on my large soda (go figure) and not paying attention to where Alex is driving us now.  A few minutes later, we pulled up beside a small park.  He moves the shift into park and leans over to hit the glovebox.  For once, it opens for him.

He pulls out a blanket that he had stuffed in there.  He takes the food bag from my lap and holds it on top of the blanket before he grabs his soda and exits the cab of the truck.  I follow his lead and look at the park.  It is almost dusk and the sky is a darker blue with clouds spotting the horizon.  He jerked his head to get me to follow him to the slight hill.  Halfway up, he put the stuff down and spread the blanket.  I sit in one of the corners of the quilt as he sets up our luxurious picnic between the two of us. We have our chicken nuggets on each side with a combined french fry pile dominating a large portion of the blanket.  It almost looks like it isn't heart-attack-inducing-automatic-diabetes-you-wish-you-were-on-Jenny-Craig-and-weight-watchers-with-a-side-of-Hydroxycut-food.  We also have a small pyramid of ketchup and barbecue sauce that my special friend is faithfully digging into.  I nibble on the nuggets before he stops me.  "I know for a fact that you don't nibble on the chicken nuggets when you are alone or with family.  I am no different sugarplum."

"On the contrary dear, I love eating the breading first then eating the processed chicks."

"Whatever fits your fancy I guess, but it does look a little weird."  I shrug and continue my strange habit.  We finish our food after I have successfully eaten every soggy fry out of our plethora.  We wander around the playground part in the dark and I sit on the swing.  Alex pulls me back and thrusts me forward.  His hands graze my butt as he pushes me higher and I have a flashback.  I scream stop and he jerks the metal chain to a stop.

"Can we just go home now?"  He kneels down and pulls my hands away from my face.  A tear drops from my nose and he kissed the leftover salt water.  "I'm not him."

"I know, but, it's just so familiar sometimes."  I could sense his arms tense and I turned my head away from him.  He dragged it back into its previous position.  "How can I change that?"

"I don't know."

"I think I do."

"How?"

"It is time for my final trick of the night."  He grabs my hand I used to punch the guy earlier and takes me back to the car.  He leaves me in the truck with a fading light as he goes back to grab our trash and blanket from earlier.  I watch him dump the trash into a trash can by the edge of the park and strut over to the car.  He opens my door to put the blanket back into the glovebox again, but he can't open it anyways.  I grab the blanket and unfold it so it drapes over my lap.

He makes his way to the other side of the vehicle and jumps into the seat.  He pulls away from the curb and gets up to speed on the deserted street.  "I don't even know how you could love a broken girl."

He slams on the breaks and we both lurch forward.  "Don't you ever say that Cydney Andrea Thompson."

"That's not my middle name."

"Actually, it is."

"How do you know?"

"I asked Anderson, but that is beside the point."

"I am a broken girl Alexander."

"Explain."

"I can't even have you touch me affectionately without freaking out."

"That is NOT your fault."

"It kind of is."  He slams the steering wheel and I jump.  I sheepishly look over to him with a tear streaked face.

"God dammit Cydney, why can't you forgive yourself for something you had no control over?"

"Because I could have fought harder."

"You aren't an MMA fighter."

"Still."

"Fine then, if you count yourself as broken, so am I."

"You had absolutely no control over cancer Alex, that isn't even a fair statement."

"Oh, but it is."

"No, it is ridiculous."

"Exactly."  I huff and turn to the other side of the car.

"It is a little sad though isn't it?  A broken boy falling in love with a broken girl and both of them know that it can't last."