Oneshots, imagines, and ideas, oh my! *discontinued*

Johnny Depp Imagine

Note: We're two votes from 500, and there will be three winners on votes 499-510.

FIGHT FOR MY ATTENTION, DAMNIT.

In all seriousness, I'm working on an imagine for AlexOfAsgaard. In the meantime, here's this.

Johnny Depp Imagine--Voodoo, Hoodoo, and other such myths.

Note: If you believe in any of the above ^^, this imagine is not made to mock you. I only say this because I have known a fine dame whose family believed in Voodoo quite religiously, and I don't mind at all. Imagine this Imagine from a...Skeptics...point of view. Also, do you remember the time before Leonardo Dicaprio's oscar? The poor fellow. He literally had to crawl inside of a dead horse to get a small yellow trophy. Commitment.

Johnny Depp Imagine

Being a hair stylist really blows.

This is something Y/n L/n loved to say, because she thought of it on her first day working with Tim Burton on Sweeny Todd, and it made him laugh. If something was witty enough to get that man to laugh, in her book it was comedic gold. She also did make-up, but who cared about that  when she had such a good joke?

By her second week of working, she had yet to meet Johnny Depp. Surprising, of course, but she hadn't sought him out, and none of his parts were first. She also wasn't his artist, as the stars had their own stylists and she mostly did background characters. Working on Alan Rickman was a euphoric experience, and she can confidently relate that she nearly shit herself when she saw him in her chair, looking like a dried up alcoholic at six in the morning.

In reality, he was quite agreeable and she enjoyed working on him. She got on well with the other cast, and she had found Helena Bonham Carter an absolute delight. She grew up an emo girl with a fascination for Tim Burton, so working on the movie was wish-fulfillment to the highest level. She was picked because she was exceptionally good at her job, extreme hair and Gothic makeup.

She didn't actually meet Johnny until her first weekend off, when she decided to visit a Voodoo shop for some house decorations. It was an odd place to go, certainly, but she found it interesting and aesthetically pleasing. She was ogling some chicken bones, eyes lit, arms full of bags, when she felt someone come up next to her.

"I don't mean to be rude, but do you have any idea what we're looking at here?"

She let out a chuckle, smiling a bit. "Not very much, but probably more than you."

"You've got me there. You seem awfully prepared--are you a witch?"

She glanced up, mildly offended, only to loose her breath a bit. Johnny Depp had caught her staring at bones and bags of herbs, for god's sake.

"I...uhm...pardon me?"

"Sorry, I was kidding. That is, unless you're buying this stuff to use?"


"Well...uh...what're you doing here?" She attempted to skirt the question.

"You're that new hair girl on set, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, whenever I work with Tim I like to visit known 'spooky' places. It helps me get into his zone."

Shit, that makes sense! How am I supposed to tell him that I just come in here to borrow little pieces of culture for decor?

"I, uh, yeah. I do...um...Voodoo." His raised brow caused her to stumble a bit. "I'm new but I...really...wanna do spells."

"You're not going to hex me, are you?"
"I don't know." She muttered, earning a laugh.

"Well, I'll have to stay on your good side then, or else I might find some chicken bones in my bed one night."

"Yeah. I mean, shit, no. I won't...uh, I won't hex you."
"That's a relief, then. Anyways, I'll leave you to gather supplies, and I'll see you around?"

"I, sure--uh, why?" He laughed again. "I'll see you on set?"

"Oh! Yeah, I do, I work there." She flushed a violent scarlet. "You'll see me. I mean, not that I think you'll seek me out, just like, you'll see me there if you look behind Alan Rickman. Wait, no, fuck me." She muttered, kicking herself. He grinned and laughed, a full-blown laugh, which only served to deepen her blush.

"Alright. Y/n, wasn't it?"
"That's me, yup. Yup, yup yup yup."
"Alright, Y/n. On set, then."
"Kay. Bye."

The second he walked out she let her head fall into her waiting hands.

"I really wanna do spells? You'll see me if you look behind Alan Rickman?" She whispered, groaning. "I'm a boob."

~~~

"Y/n, thank god you showed up!"

The second she walked through the door to the make-up area, she was rushed at by Tanner, the head artist. He was usually suave and collected, but he looked absolutely frazzled.

"What's wrong with you? Has the world ended?"

"Yes! Filming is getting kicked up today, Chelsea's having her baby, Missy called in sick, Grey plain didn't show up, and everyone else is busy on side characters! I'm trying to do Turpin, Lovett, Anthony, Johanna--I need you to get your ass behind your chair and get ready to do whoever I send your way, got it?"

"Yeah, you've got it." She quickly pulled on a smock and headed to her station, prepping in a matter of minutes. Nearly the second she was ready, Timothy Spall was seated in her chair.

~~~

"Y/n, you're a beast." Tanner grinned, panting a bit. "I'm all done--you've got just one more. You're the best, like, ever."

"Glad to hear it, Tan. How many throats did you slit today?"
"Just one. You?"
"Two. I win."

"Sorry I'm late--I'm ready though." Attention snapped to Johnny, who had just walked in.

"That's fine, we wouldn't have been able to make you up if you were early. Y/n's chair's just over there."
"You sure, Tanner? You've got more experience."
"Oh please. I just watched you apply a prosthetic with the last two drops of glue in a bottle. You've got a little pale faced barber.

"Alright, alright."

She meandered a bit but she had to face the superstar in the chair at some point, and so with absolutely no conversation she dug into the hair.

"How're you doing?"
"All good over here, Mr. Depp." She murmured through her concentration. She might be an awkward idiot, but when she was doing her job she was, in fact, a machine.

"I don't suppose you've cast any spells yet?"
"Oh, about that. I'm not a voodoo priestess. I buy the neat pieces for decoration."
"I figured as much."

She got his hair done and quickly moved on to his make-up, which was signature Tim Burton emo mixed with contouring.

"It seems like you had crazy morning, but everyone's doing--"
"Stop moving your lips." She told him firmly, earning a small chuckle and a 'yes, ma'am'.

When she was finally done she stepped back and rushed him into his costume.

"Great job, Y/n, I'd say I'm more Mr. Todd than I've been yet."
"Well, that's what I do. Now you go do the voodoo that you do, while I clean up this mess."

~~~

The next day, she was surprised to find Johnny waiting in her chair, full costume but no make-up, messing around on his phone.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat, drawing his attention.

"Good morning, Y/n."
"Mr. Depp. May I ask why you're in my chair and not with your artist?"
"Well I requested a change. I'd rather have someone as talented as you helping me look the part."

She crossed her arm. "Flattery won't get you less time in the chair, Mr. Depp."

"Johnny is fine. And I think that's alright, I'd love to hear about your home decorations and It's too early to ask you to dinner."

"Well, fine. I'll make you Sweeny Todd. But, if I ever need something, you have to do it for me. Got it?"

"I can't give Leonardo DiCaprio an Oscar."
"Well, the next thing I need then."
"Deal."

She smiled a bit. "Alright Johnny. I'm your stylist, Y/n. It's a pleasure to meet you."