Oneshots, imagines, and ideas, oh my! *discontinued*

Drunk! Reader Comp.

Part two of the Drunk! Reader Compilation

Note: By popular demand. I'm working on a snape x male reader for a person, and for another person, I'm re-writing an imagine for a fandom I don't know anything about for the fiftieth time so that's fun. Patience, doves, I know I've been inactive lately.

Warnings: Rated PG-13 for boozing it up and foul language. The Dean Winchester preference is rated R for all of the above plus sexually implicit content.

Drunk! Reader Compilation

Tony Stark - Heavy Hitter:

When you told your long-time boyfriend that you were going out with some friends, he thought you meant to a movie, or dinner, or something like that. However, he was proven entirely wrong when your best friend showed up at his door, struggling to support you.

Together, they managed to get your limp, grumbling ass on the couch, and he demanded an explanation.

"Well, it started out great." Your friend began to explain. "We each did two tequila shots, which is how we usually start things off."

"Y/n did a tequila shot? Like, salt, drink, lime?"
"Yeah." She gave him an odd look. "We've been doing it since college. Anyways, after that, our other friend did a pineapple upside down cake and a hot damn, and she went off with some guy, that's her bag. I dared her to do a Redheaded slut--"

"You're not serious."
"Do you want to hear it or do you want to interrupt me?"

He raised his hands defensively, and the slightly tipsy woman continued.

"I wasn't feeling it, so I ordered a jack and coke, but she was excited, so she ordered a kick in the balls."
"I haven't even heard of that one."
"That's jut tequila, whiskey, and Yukon Jack."
"Holy shit--but she's so...Y/n! Y/n isn't the kind of girl who drinks Redheaded sluts."
"She's a sweetie, isn't she?" Your friend tossed a glance at your nearly comatose form. "We never drank often, at least, not after the first year of college. But when we ride, we ride hard. She was planning on staying over at my place, but I didn't know she was going to get this stoned, so she's up to you."

"What's she like when she's drunk?"

"For the first two hours? She's incredible. She's all the things we love about Y/n, jacked up to a thousand and with some added volume. After that? You're looking at it. I'm gonna get a cab home, you got her?"

"Yeah, I've got her." He cast your friend a wary look as she walked out, before turning his attention back to you.

"Y/n, pumpkin? Y'okay?"

"Fuck offf." You moaned out, pressing your face against the arm of the couch.

"I'll pretend that didn't hurt while you go get ready for bed. Okay?"
"I'm sshleeping here."
"You sure about that, princess?"

Your next response was an unintelligible moaning sound, and he decided to just go to bed and let you have your couch.

~~

He expected that you would be throwing up all morning, but he didn't hear you go into the bathroom, and when he finally padded to the kitchen to make some coffee, he saw you sitting at the bar, glaring at a cup of your own.

"Morning sweetie." He gave you a cheeky grin, which you returned with a dead stare. "How're you feeling?"

"Drop the act, Stark. I don't remember how I got home."
"Your friend dropped you off, but not before she told me everything that happened."
"Good, so you'll understand when I tell you I can't remember anything after I took that kick in the balls."

"Next time you get drunk, do it in the safety of your own home. I wanna watch."
"No."

"Alright, grumpy, how about some breakfast? Dump the coffee, I'll get you some dry toast and a glass of water."