so yo. it's time to hit that complete button on this book, but first, you kNOW I gotta do an anti-Trump spoof.
don't read if ur easily offended or can't take a fuckin joke also this is gonna be explicit srry
Reedwhisker: (watches the TV intently) That is the most beautiful, most orange-gold goldfish I have ever laid my stereotypically blue RiverClan eyes on.
Mothwing: I...need...it...
Mistystar: CLAN ASSEMBLE! (blows battle conch)
(RiverClan magically appears in front of the 420 Rock, ready to fight, don't question my logic or shitty puns)
Hawkfrost: Shit. I need to make that goldfish my shawty...
Trumpfish: We need to build a WAHHLLLLL.
(RiverClan gasps in awe)
Mothwing: As a totally legit 100% real as fuck certified medicine cat, I think we should eat that goldfish and absorb his natural powers, not to mention whatever must be in his veins.
Mistystar: RIVERCLAN ROLL OUT
(RiverClan appears at the Trump rally)
Hawkfrost: Hey there...fine lookin...damn...(bites Trump's head)
(RiverClan begins to devour Trump as sensible, educated, non-homophobic, -xenophobic, -transphobic, -racist, -islamophobic, -sexist people everywhere rejoice)
Mothwing: PUSSY POWER HAHA YEET
Linda Sarsour: I think I have an idea...
(RiverClan returns to camp)
Mothwing: My paws are turning orange! It's working!
Hawkfrost: (hisses at Mothwing) WHY AREN'T YOU MAKING BABIES GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND SHUT UP
(All of the toms begin hissing at the she-cats in a similar fashion)
Reedwhisker: Mistystar is a liar, she belongs in jail, we must lock her up! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! (Reedwhisker takes a clump of reeds and puts it on his head as toupee) This is yuge...I can be leader!
(As they are now basically sheeple, the RiverClan cats make Reedwhisker their leader)
Reedwhisker: WE must build a wall around our territory! To keep out those bad WindClan hombres.
RiverClan: YEAH! (builds a wall, RiverClan begins to crumble)
Reedwhisker: WE must ban all cats from ShadowClan! They are a danger to our country! But it's not a ban...wait...but they're still not allowed...but...do people hate me? (cries like a big baby)
Hawkfrost: No, man, we gotta...we gotta lock those dirty she cats up! They don't belong here! (she-cats are put in their own cave)
(RiverClan is burnt to the ground, destroyed by their retarded leader, ReedwhiskerTrump)
(Fuck Donald Trump)
(peace out bitches)
YOU ARE READING
How to Get Kicked Out Of All The Clans
Random.:: VOTED BEST LAUGH IN @WARRIORSWATTYAWARDS ::. In a magical land around a lake, there are four clans of insane cats who probably need to go to a mental hospital. Here's a book about their adventures and psycho-ness. There's pizza, hotdogs, mouse d...
