The Fault In Our Minds

Fault 27

Author's note: Prepare for a couple of longer chapters. Enjoy.

I wake before Josh. At least its what i thought. Second period had already started. I don't get up I just sit in bed and wonder if he sleeps at home. It probably explains the tiredness he has. I answer some emails. I answer so many that I answered them all. I refresh the page to make sure there's no more. Of course there's just one sitting there for me. It's from Mr. Issac. I should have noticed him once I left. Since I answered his emails I minds well take off for class.
I don't have time to out two pieces of cloth together so I just grab a dressed I thought I'd never wear. It's December but El Nino makes it seem like we're near the equator.
     I slide down the banister and into the kitchen. I don't expect myself not to run into mom. I swallow down a yogurt real quick. She's not wearing a disapproving face; just a simple grin. I gather up my things instead of questioning it. Somethings don't need to be questioned.

I reach school at eight twenty. Just the school I haven't gotten to the basement. I don't get there until ten minutes later. Procrastination at its finest. I guess I'm shy that I'm wearing a dress to school. I twirl my foot around in front of the door. To go in or to skip. I looked down at my feet. Come on get it together Ryan. I touch the door knob as the door opens. I step inside and keep my head down. In my seat I put my head down. This is embarrassing.

Too embarrassed to get up at the end of class. It's just a silly dress it's no reason to get so embarrassed. Mr.Issac cleared his throat. "Get to class and a certain person is waiting for you." His voice seems excited. I pull myself out of the seat and out of the class. Josh was leaning outside against the wall.
"I did not know you had breast" he says bluntly. I cover my chest.
I stutter out, "W-What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. I just never noticed. I guess it's all the black t-shirts you wore. Not that I'm always looking."
I grind my teeth. "Um thanks I guess. I think it's obvious I'm not used to wearing dresses."
"For starters you look cute and some deans will be all over your case about them shoulders."
     I roll my eyes and drag him up the stair case. We hang out in the hall way of the basement. I never do anything in swim gym so I don't care about skipping. Josh is a different story. AP classes aren't something you should be missing. I wonder how he's grieving. From my knowledge so far he hasn't cried. And so far I haven't told him about my closing in move.
I pinch myself with my hands behind my back. Get it together Ryan. It's only December we have time together. Just not at much as I'll ever want. I keep trying to be optimistic about it however I can only see the negative out of it. Josh sits next to me on the steps.
"You look upset."
"I'm fine" I say back quickly. My face says otherwise. I wear a mask of adversity.
"I can easily see through that. Camaraderie sweet heart. Trust among friends." He has an excellent point.
I exhale arid air. "So you remember that lady from the supermarket we went to in Connecticut?"
"Of course she threw a tomato at me."
"I saw her at the hospital when I burned my hand..." I don't finish that sentence. "Long story short she's my biological mom and mom suggest I move with her after school ends."
One of his arms are around me pulling me closer. I'm seated in his lap with my head against his shoulder. I hope the conversation goes somewhere else. I'm not ready to talk about this. My beloved Josh doesn't continue the conversation.
"Want to hang out after school if you won't be with Mr. Issac."
I grin. "It's not like that and sure."

Josh walks me to my next class. It's on the fourth which is forensics. His eyes wouldn't keep his eyes off me. It was embarrassing well everything is embarrassing. I have never showed this much shoulder before. Why am I acting all shy over shoulders? I cover my face.
"Um Josh do you mind not looking at me?"
"You've always been interesting to look at. Just twice as more interesting. Does anyone cat call you?"
    I snicker and nod no. No one has ever cat called me. The perks of being me. I guess I cover up what most would call my 'beauty.' I think I've been seen around so much in the same baggy clothes my appearance goes out the door.
   Josh checks his watch. By his face we must not have much time left. He excuses himself just before the bell rings. I lean against the wall as people flood by trying to migrant. I wonder if I'd be more happy with my biological mom.