The Fault In Our Minds

Fault 37

I promise.
    I take a hot shower to relax my muscles. Maybe I had been a show off but the tears that came with it needed to leave me alone. I go back to my room and notice immediately that my sweater was missing. I run into Marlyn's room. When she's not inside I run downstairs. I clench my towel at the sight on the couch.
"What are you doing with my sweater?" I almost yell.
"Marlyn you said she let you borrow it" Daniel says.
She utters, "Um."
    The sweater itself was already smelt like sweat. Now she's using it as a napkin. Absolutely unacceptable and unforgivable.
"Grace," Jack speaks in a low tone before walking over to me, "What happened to your thighs?"
I shift my eyes to Marlyn. "Take my sweater off immediately. That's not something you could just use as a napkin. It was made out of love and you're ruining it. Take it off."
    I use the same tone I once used with the runts I now use with her. She scrambles to get it off and I hear a tear. Her eyes are watering up. I can't find myself to care.
"Grace that sweater isn't important. What happened to your thighs?" Jack grabs my shoulders. "I want to know everything that happened to you in New York."
"You aren't important to me. I want to go home tomorrow."
     His hands release me and I grab my sweater. I think I met everything I said. How could he say that sweater isn't important? It's too important. Far too important for me to let anyone else wear. I sit against my bed and hug it. I have to ask her to knit again. I hope she doesn't think I ruined it.
There's taps against the door.
"Do you really want to go home?" Rebecca asks through the door.
"I don't know. Just leave me alone."
"Ryan what happened to your thighs? Are you depressed at home? We can-"
"I'm not depressed there. I'm depressed here. You have no idea how much this sweater meant to me."
    I crawl over to the door and open it enough for me to glance at her. Her eyes are looking back at mine. Swirling in confusion. "Just leave me alone and I'll debate if I want to leave tomorrow."
"I'll bring you food up in a hour or so."
"Okay...thanks" I groan.

I don't eat dinner and I don't really do anything but hold the sweater close to me. I don't even get dress. I lay around until the house goes silent; around a little after midnight.
     I put an oversized shirt on and tip toe downstairs to the kitchen. I sit at the counter with the plate of untouched food. I just poke at it until I put it into the fridge. I press my phone to my ear and wait for an answer.
"Why are you up?" Josh questions.
"Because I feel like shit. I miss you."
"I thought you was having the time of your life" he leers.
"Who told you that?"
"That guy who answered your text. He said you was having a blast and for me not to bother you."
    Damn Jack to hell. I knew he just wasn't put the WiFi password in. Doing some snooping and deceiving him.
"I was ice skating. I was kind of having a blast. Now I'm not."
"Tell me everything."
    I put my chin in the counter when I do. I avoid biting my tongue off. "So you got defensive over a sweater and now you feel terrible?"
"Correct" I answer.
"If you don't want to leave right away I won't mention anything to your mom. It would be nice to have you home early. Only at your own wants and needs."
    It sounds like he's whispering into my ear like we're next to each other. I'd like to be home early if it meant I got to spend time with him. "Okay" I breathe. "I guess I'll stay at the exception of you calling me before I go to sleep."
"As if I'd disagree against that idea."
    I stay on the phone with him until I fake a yawn and we whisper goodnight back to each other. I slip into Jack's room. He's awake reading. Something I'd do.
"You told my friend not to bother me" I accuse but he's bloody guily.
"He's way more than a friend. You don't get it," he cries out. Placing his book down to look at me. "They want you to stay. All they wanted was you back. They had Marlyn just for the simple fact they needed to fill in a gap."
Do not feel any pity.
"You didn't just go into a foster home and then put up for adoption. We had nothing to identify you or us. It's like you was stolen. All these stolen years was just pain."
   Don't feel pity. You know where you belong. You know where you belong. You know who needs you back. You know. You know. You know. You know. For fucks sake you know.
"Will you promise to stay?"
"I can't promise anything of that."