Black and White ✘ Black Butler

Chapter 47

Everything felt numb around me. It's like I was stuck in a void of nothingness.

I was aware of whatever was surrounding me, but it's like my mind was too preoccupied by all of the thoughts and memories swirling through my head that it didn't have time to process my surroundings.

I may've been sitting in the breakfast nook within my kitchen; however, in my head, I was back to one of the worst days of my life. And each time I relieved that horrid memory, my pain grew, my heart withered more, and my view became more grey and blurry in my eyes.

It was days since Edward was put into his final resting place, yet it still like it was moments ago since he drew his final breath. That vision couldn't spot replaying. It's like I was watching a video repeat the same scene over and over until I've gone completely mad. I kept seeing every moment from when Hannah's sharp snails pierced through Edward's core to when all the life escaped from his eyes.

This horrible nightmare just wouldn't go away. It won't let me have peace, even for a moment.

And as much as I would love to see it go away, it won't stop all the crying and mourning that swirled around my head, practically making me want to go deaf in order to evade from the noise. Bell's cries for her lost brother played like a record play and my ears were the only things that received the sound.

If only it would go away. Why can't it just leave me alone?! I'm already suffering with Edward's loss. Why does my mind continue to torment me?!

Suddenly, I jolt within my seat, a few inches away from completely falling off of my chair, when something clanks onto the small, round table.

"I'm so sorry, CL," I hear Mary's voice muffle into my eardrums.

My vision, now broken from the memories I saw due to my sudden distraction, focused on the object before me. It was a bowl, more specifically a bowl of yogurt. Mary was merely setting my breakfast down for me.

I settle down my shaking body, that I didn't even realize was moving until now, and mumbling, "It's okay." However, instead of scarfing down the dairy substance like Mary was hoping I would do, I simply stare down at the bowl, not moving an inch in an attempt to even grab the spoon.

"C'mon, CL. You have to eat. You need something in your stomach or else you'll pass out," Brad explains. He wasn't paying any more attention to the oatmeal he was cooking up for the others; he had his hands on the granite counter while his beep blue eyes stared on at me.

"I'm not that hungry."

"You know, it's not healthy not to have the most important meal of the day."

"I'm fine," I repeat. Then, I wrap my arms around myself.

The others only gave me a sympathetic gaze.

Then, from right behind me, I hear a pen being placed on the counter then a number of footsteps following soon after. In a matter of seconds, Tom pulled the chair right next to me and takes his seat. He places his arms on the tabletop before leaning closer to me. Like the others, his eyes showed sympathy and sadness.

I look away just to ignore his peering gaze.

"I understand that you're still grieving over Edward's death," he begins, "Bell and every one of your friends are still grieving. But it's imperative that you stay fit, Catherine. You need to protect yourself. Sebastian isn't here to protect you like before, and you need all the help you can get from yourself."