Black and White ✘ Black Butler

Chapter 50

[Quick rule of thumb: This chapter is going to include yet another "Flashback/Memory" as it did with the previous chapters. So... I just wanted to say that the italicized words are those of the flashback while the normal font is mainly the thoughts of Modern CL. This is just to know what's suppose to be a memory and what's not]

Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter. Believe me, a lot of feels are going to happen....

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I stumble through the front door even when I used every strength in me to hold myself up against the door. Just with the revelation that I will die soon, it still leaves my body numb. I couldn't even have the strength to focus on my surroundings. My mind was too busy pondering at the idea of tasting the dark bliss that is death taking everything that is me to the eternal loneliness that a Lost Child may have to endure. After all, people like me don't belong anywhere. So... where would we go? How do Lost Children spend the rest of eternity after they leave this world?

Will it truly be as lonely as people say feels? Is that why we all fear dying?

Just the thought of that, it makes my body want to do nothing but collapse on this floor right now. How else would anyone else feel if they knew they'd be killed soon? Nobody, not even me, is ever ready for death.

But, my time wasn't chosen for me. It's being taken from me, and I have to accept it either way.

Why couldn't I just have Claude kill me there at that very second he had his hands around my neck? It'd make things a whole lot easier.

But now, as the "only" kind gesture he has ever given anyone in his existence, Claude has granted me my final moments by (firstly) allowing me to countdown my last seconds in the living world and (secondly) endure the tragedy in saying my final words and goodbyes to those I hold dearly to me. Both were harrowing and blissful at the same time (as strange as it may seem).

However, I try to force myself to focus on the present. If I think about my impending doom any longer, it'll just lower my attitude and it can set alarms to those around me.

I'd rather go out without much fuss. This is my choice (even if I was pushed to it) and I don't want anyone to interfere or sway me to another direction.

My time was already set. My death would be inevitable now. Claude wanted me to die tonight at midnight, exactly eleven hours and 7 minutes from now. I swear, it's a strange and romantic idea that you'd only hear in the storybooks, but still, he was from the medieval era. I suppose everything in that time has been romanticized too much by society, but Claude wasn't helping the case.

Still, in that time, I would meet two damned demons in London.

But as to the exact location... I wasn't too sure.

I would only receive instructions that'll lead me to the destination as soon as I reach the city.

So, the only things I had agreed to was being instructed to meet Claude and Alois somewhere in the city at exactly midnight, where I will die at their hands.

Despite that, the only thing Claude did tell me was a hint at the location, which would be a place that the only means of escaping were to fall down.... That's doesn't sound menacing at all.

Oh who am I kidding?

Maybe falling off a building might be the only thing I could do as a final piece of freedom to myself. It'd be better than being slaughtered by Claude. After all, what I saw in my past's memories, a fall off the building is better than enduring whatever had happened in the past.