Missingfur: Greetings aspiring villains and miscreants, and welcome to I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan! I have realized that trying to take down an entire Clan by myself may not have been the greatest idea.
Velvetpaw: Hey, I do most of the work!
Missingfur: *Snorts* Sure you do.
Velvetpaw: I get no credit! Give me one reason why I have to do what you say!
Missingfur: I'm your boss.
Velvetpaw: ... DARN IT.
Missingfur turns back to the audience, and as he does so, a quietly seething Velvetpaw pulls out a laser gun and vaporizes a nearby settlement. Missingfur ignores this completely, and continues to address the camera as the pair begin to walk in the direction of camp.
Missingfur: During this episode, I will call for the aid of my allies, and together we shall vanquish the Clan so that I may become Leader!
Velvetpaw: How would you become leader of a vanquished Clan?
Missingfur: I will become the leader and then vanquish the Clan!
Velvetpaw: But then-
Missingfur: Yes, I realized what was wrong with that after I said it. I guess I'll just kill Normalstar and take his place.
Velvetpaw: I hate that guy.
Missingfur: You're a very angry creature.
Velvetpaw: I hate you too.
Missingfur: What don't you hate?
Velvetpaw: Food.
Missingfur: I'm sorry I didn't hear that but is sounded like you said aliens.
Velvetpaw stares at Missingfur disdainfully from the side of the stage as he pulls out a comically large remote labelled "Alien-o-meter".
Velvetpaw: HAH I KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE THAT LABEL MAKER I GOT YOU
Missingfur: What label maker? I wasn't using a label maker, that would be lame. Hey what does this button do?
Missingfur presses the aforementioned button, and after a very awkward silence, nothing interesting happens.
Velvetpaw: *Cough* Loser *Cough*
Rainbownose suddenly approach them from camp, both looking fairly cheerful.
Ranbownose: Hey Missingfur, whatcha got there?
Missingfur: NOTHING DANGEROUS!
Rainbownose: I appreciate your honesty! How would you like to join Normalstar and I for tea?
Missingfur nods, grinning menacingly, and the deputy returns a much more pleasant smile before she leads him and his apprentice towards the leader's den. Flamepaw's jaw drops as the trio walks past, and he turns to jab Tallshadow in the side.
Tallshadow: Ow!
Flamepaw: Tallshadow, look what they're doing!
Tallshadow: I would, but-
Flamepaw: I know, you don't care.
Tallshadow: *Leans close to his ear and whispers* Only I can say whether I not care.
Flamepaw: *Blinks in fear*
Missingfur, Rainbownose, and Velvetpaw enter Normalstar's den, where the Clan leader is struggling to pour them cups of tea with his cat paws.
Normalstar: Welcome to my average abode!
Velvetpaw: We've been here before.
Normalstar: Welcome back to my average abode!
Missingfur: *Repeatedly pressing the large button on remote* WHY WON'T IT WORK
Rainbownose: I'm sure you'll get it to work, I believe in you! How much tea would you like in your tea?
Velvetpaw: Um.
Flamepaw suddenly screeches from outside the den, and the cats rush outside to see that a large group of glowing green cats have infiltrated their camp.
Normalstar: What's happening out here?
Flamepaw: THEY'VE BROUGHT ALIENS TO MURDER YOU
Normalstar: That doesn't sound right.
One of the green cats approaches Normalstar, obviously the leader, and glares at him threateningly.
Dave who is Cool: I am Dave who is Cool, leader of the Tribe of No Don't Touch That It's Lethal. We have received an urgent distress call from this area, and we have come to vanquish your entire Clan.
Missingfur: We decided against the vanquishing, actually.
Dave who is Cool: Oh, right, okay. *Turns back to Normalstar* Give your position of leadership to us or we will take it by force!
Normalstar: No.
Dave who is Cool: THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE! I MUST DESTROY YOU-
Sparkwhisker skips through the crowd of green cats obliviously before reaching Normalstar, when he suddenly gasps and turns to look at Dave who is Cool.
Velvetpaw: THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS
Sparkwhisker: Dave!
Dave who is Cool: Sparkwhisker! I did not know this was your Clan.
Normalstar: What's going on?
Sparkwhisker: Dave is a buddy of mine, we play laser tag sometimes. A lot.
Dave who is Cool: I apologize, I didn't realize you were Sparkwhisker's friends. We shall from this moment leave you and you Clan in peace, and we will help to protect you from every threat you might face in the near future.
Missingfur: *Shocked silence*
The Tribe of No Don't Touch That It's Lethal slowly leaves the Clan camp, Dave who is Cool in the lead. Sparkwhisker grins at Missingfur.
Sparkwhisker: Oh hi Missingfur, I didn't see you there!
Missingfur: *Internally screaming*
Velvetpaw: *Storms off*
Another long episode, I get really carried away with these. Hope you enjoyed!
~Frost
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Юмор[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
