Missingfur: Greetings, aspiring villains and miscreants, and welcome back to I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan! During the last episode of our show, I realized I need to eliminate the one thing standing in my way - Sparkwhisker.
Velvetpaw: That's what we've been telling you this entire time!
Missingfur: I just came up with that one my own just now.
Velvetpaw: No, you didn't, me and your two fans came up with it.
Missingfur: You mean two hundred?
Velvetpaw: Two.
Missingfur: Well, I'm glad my two thousand fans are coming up with ideas for the show, even if they've already been thought of.
Velvetpaw: Two. Two fans.
Missingfur: Okay, fine. *Pats Velvetpaw on the head* You and my two million fans definitely came up with this plan.
Velvetpaw: TWO - you know what, don't you have a show to host?
Missingfur: I'm glad you noticed! We're in camp now!
Velvetpaw: What?
Velvetpaw looks around in shock, realizing that they've suddenly appeared right in the center of the Clan camp. They are immediately approached by Flamepaw, who appears to by physically dragging Tallshadow along with him.
Flamepaw: Oh, so you've come here to do something evil have you?!
Velvetpaw: No the teleportation and constant plotting hints at our good intentions.
Tallshadow: *Sighs loudly* Whatever.
Flamepaw: Well unfortunately for you, Tallshadow and I have invited Dave who is Cool and to come and stay at camp until they clean up the radioactive waste! Don't ask, we're just as confused as you are, but that's beside the point. The point is that all long as Dave who is Cool is here, you're not getting anywhere near Normalstar!
Velvetpaw: Actually, we're here for Sparkwhisker.
Flamepaw: I can't tell if you're being supportive or threatening.
Missingfur: Don't waste your breath, Flamepaw-
Tallshadow: He can't waste his breath. Breathing is unlimited.
Missingfur: SHUT UP TALLSHADOW WE'RE GOING TO MURDER MY BROTHER AND YOU CAN'T STOP US!
Missingfur and Velvetpaw flee from the two toms, and a montage of the two cats trying to kill Sparkwhisker ensues. Velvetpaw places a bottle marked with a skull and crossbones on a nearby tree stump, and Sparkwhisker soon wanders over.
Sparkwhisker: HELLO I HAVE ARRIVED
Velvetpaw: Hey Sparkwhisker, go eat that poison! I mean not poison! It's not poison.
Sparkwhisker: Okey dokey artichokey smokey pokey bumble bee red sea bay tree banshee...
As Sparkwhisker continues to ramble on, Dave who is Cool approached the table and immediately notices the bottle on the table.
Dave who is Cool: What is this?
Velvetpaw: Nothing! Just... shoo.
Sparkwhisker: Carefree foresee green tea goatee sweet pea sightsee sand flea amputee...
Dave who is Cool: I must protect the cats who have been so hospitable to me after my camp was flooded by glowstick filling!
Dave who is Cool grabs the bottle, and Velvetpaw grabs the other end; the two cats begin wrestling over it. Missingfur groans from where he was hiding in the bushes, drawing the sword he'd been saving for Plan B. Flamepaw suddenly tackles him before he can move.
Flamepaw: GIMME THE SWORD
Missingfur: IT'S MY SWORD YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
Velvetpaw: LET GO OF THE JAR!
Sparkwhisker: Disagree gemini escapee filigree warranty panini actuary reality vitamin e-
Missingfur and Velvetpaw suddenly disappear, and Flamepaw trips and narrowly avoids impaling himself.
Flamepaw: Where did they go?
Tallshadow: I teleported them away from camp with the power of not caring.
Sparkwhisker: But I hadn't gotten to five syllables yet :(
Flamepaw: But Tallshadow, you don't care about Sparkwhisker!
Tallshadow: But I don't care about not caring about Sparkwhisker.
Flamepaw: ...Okay, that makes sense.
Somewhere in the forest, Velvetpaw and Missingfur materialize from thin air.
Missingfur: We're in the forest now!
Velvetpaw: Don't even talk to me.
Two updates on this book in one day! I think this is more evil than readers can handle.
~Frost
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Humor[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
