Missingfur: Welcome to the second episode of I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan!
Velvetpaw: Will you make your plan clearer this time?
Missingfur: I may.
Velvetpaw sighs as her mentor turns away from her and faces the camera once more.
Missingfur: To be a successful villain, only one cat is to know your plans - yourself. Nobody else. But, as they say, villains stand on the severed heads of other villains. We must learn from those before us. And then we must put what we have learned to use.
Velvetpaw: Does that mean that I will one day be able to stand on your severed head?
Missingfur: No. My head is far too important for such an lowly purpose.
Velvetpaw opens her mouth to speak but is cut off as Missingfur continues.
Missingfur: There is one cat who's methods of murder that I favor above most. This cat is Professor Duskwater.
Recorded applause and cheering sound effects are played.
Missingfur: Today, instead of working our way up through the deputy, we're going to killing the medicine cat, deputy, and leader at the same time so that the Clan is thrown into disarray, and then I can take over!
More recorded applause and cheering sound effects are played.
Missingfur: Yes, yes, I know, it's an amazing plan. And I may or may not have come up with it.
An absurd amount of recorded applause and cheering sound effects are played as the screen fades away and shows up again with Missingfur standing in front of the ThunderClan leader's den, where the leader, deputy, and medicine cat are conversing.
Missingfur: Now, I'm just going to take this stick of dynamite -
Missingfur holds up stick of dynamite from nowhere.
Missingfur: And I'm going to light the fuse -
Missingfur takes out a match and draws it quickly along the ground, lighting it. He touches the match to the fuse, lighting it, and then waves out the match.
Missingfur: Right! There we got it!
Flamepaw pads up to leader's den to talk with Normalstar with Tallshadow behind him and sees Missingfur with dynamite.
Flamepaw: What are you doing?
Tallshadow: I really don't care what he's doing.
Flamepaw: But I do! Tell me why you have a lit stick of dynamite!
Missingfur: Can't you tell? I'm going to murder those three.
Missingfur gestures towards the cats inside the leader's den and Flamepaw leaps backwards as a spark flies off the dynamite towards him.
Flamepaw: Tallshadow! We've got to stop this!
Tallshadow: I'm not going to stop something I don't care about.
Sparkwhisker: HEY GUYS!
The three cats outside the leader's den turn to the middle of camp and see Sparkwhisker standing on Highledge with Velvetpaw trying to pull him off.
Missingfur: What are you doing, Sparkwhisker?
Sparkwhisker: I'm trying out a rain dance!
Sparkwhisker abruptly kicks away Velvetpaw.
Sparkwhisker: Trust me, this'll be great, Velvetpaw!
Sparkwhisker begins to sing an haunting melody with unintelligible words and starts to contort into odd shapes and do interpretive dance.
Missingfur: What even -
Dark gray thunderclouds began to form over the camp, and droplets fall as all the cats look up with surprised faces. Lightning crackles and only a moment later, a full-blown storm is happening.
Velvetpaw: Missingfur, the dynamite!
Missingfur turns his head to see that the dynamite's fuse has been extinguished. He wails in anger and throws it onto the ground, just as the three cats in the leader's den come out.
Normalstar: It's raining.
Rainbownose: Yay! I like rain a lot!
Grumpyberry: I don't.
Rainbownose: But aren't medicine cats supposed to love the rain? Because herbs - water - rain - grow -
Grumpyberry: Don't believe the stereotypes.
Missingfur: Don't get so happy that you've thwarted me! Just you wait, because I'll be back, and next time, I won't be so easy to defeat!
Missingfur runs off into the forest. Sparkwhisker stops dancing and the thunderclouds clear away.
Sparkwhisker: What happened? Didn't he like my rain dance?
Velvetpaw: No. And I didn't either.
Velvetpaw slaps Sparkwhisker and goes after Missingfur.
Sparkwhisker: But - but -
Flamepaw turns to Normalstar and Rainbownose.
Flamepaw: Didn't you two see? He was trying to kill you!
Rainbownose: Oh, is this another episode in his show? That's so cool! We get to be in a show!
Normalstar: That's interesting.
Rainbownose: It's amazing! Don't you think so, Flamepaw?
Flamepaw: I - murder - you know what, no, I don't think so.
That amazing piece of writing there was written by Duskie. Hope you enjoyed.
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Humor[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
