I May or May Not Be a Standup Comedian

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Missingfur: Greetings, aspiring villains and miscreants, and welcome back to I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan! I certainly hope you enjoy this episode, I'll be expecting you to die of laughter.

Velvetpaw: He's not kidding, that's actually his plan.

Missingfur: It's a great plan!

Velvetpaw: It's an expression

Missingfur: Don't underestimate me, I can get anyone to laugh at me if I want to.

Velvetpaw: *Huffs* I don't doubt that.

Without another word, Missingfur leads the cameras towards the Clan camp, where a haphazard stage has been constructed in the center of the clearing. Missingfur trots up to it, and the cats in camp cast each other confused glances.

Normalstar: How long had this stage been here?

Rainbownose: Literally no idea.

Normalstar: How could you not notice a thing like this?

Rainbownose: You didn't notice it.

Normalstar: I was busy being important.

Rainbownose: I was busy being gender fluid.

Missingfur: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP THIS IS MY SHOW.

Both cats go quiet as Missingfur hops up onto the stage, and a crowd of cats begin to assemble in front of the stage.

Grumpyberry: What is it this time?

Missingfur: Thank you all for coming! I have to admit, I did expect to see MEOWr cats here.

Grumpyberry: Did you just try and make a pun?

Missingfur: YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND YOU'RE OLD

Grumpyberry: You're an idiot.

Missingfur: Hey, Normalstar!

Normalstar: Wot

Missingfur: Would you come up on stage for a second?

Normalstar: K

Normalstar climbs up onto the stage and stands beside Missingfur, then his eyes suddenly go wide as he looks over the edge of the stage.

Normalstar: I'm scared of heights.

Missingfur: We... we're three feet off the ground.

Normalstar: *Blinks*

Velvetpaw: You two make me feel anger.

Missingfur: Hey Normalstar, what do you call a cat who buys a property?

Rainbownose: I frickin love shrimp

Missingfur: A HoMEOWner!

Normalstar: Ground is rlly far away

Sparkwhisker: Hello, brother buddy pal! Watcha diddly-doing?

Missingfur: NO GET OUT OF MY LIFE

Sparkwhisker: I'm gonna do a joke!

Missingfur: NO

Sparkwhisker ignores Missingfur, and proceeds to join the two toms on the stage.

Sparkwhisker: I'm gonna do an impersonation of a human! *Screams* TAXES

Rainbownose: Encore!

Missingfur: No. Nope. Shut it down. I'm not dealing with this.

Velvetfur: That's a wrap everyone!

Rainbownose: CRAFS

The screen goes black.


~ Frost

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