Missingfur: Welcome back... I have no fur.... to I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan.
Velvetpaw: What was that?
Missingfur: Hmm?
Velvetpaw: Did you say... I could have sworn you said... did you say you have no fur? *slightly unsettled.*
Missingfur: Did I say that? *tips his head to the side curiously.*
Velvetpaw: Yes... you did say that.
Missingfur: Let's move on.
Velvetpaw: Why did you bring up your... um, lack of hair?
Missingfur: Because, of course, my plan for today's episode May or May Not involve a cult. *winks devilishly*
Velvetpaw: *rolls her eyes.* Because, what... this cult is going to be about find your missing fur? *rolls her eyes again, but sassily this time.*
Missingfur: You hit the nail on the head.
Velvetpaw: I beg your pardon?
Missingfur: You hit the nail on the head.
Velvetpaw: I don't recall hitting any nails... on their heads...
Missingfur: You didn't hit any nails on their heads; it's a saying for The Missing Fur's Sake!
Velvetpaw: What.... what did you just say?
Missingfur: It's a saying?
Velvetpaw: After that.
Missingfur: For?
Velvetpaw: AFTER THAT!
Missingfur: The?
Velvetpaw: I hate you... the missing fur's sake?
Missingfur: It's my religious sake... like StarClan's Sake. And things. Yeah. Don't be racist.
Velvetpaw: That...that's not racist.
Missingfur: You use ellipses too much. *narrows his eyes at his apprentice.*
Velvetpaw: Thanks; I try.
Missingfur: So, can we go recruit for my cult now? Please?
Velvetpaw: How, exactly, will this help us kill Normalstar?
Missingfur: Well, obviously after we recruit the entire Clan into my cult, we'll start establishing ranks... and when the cult's ranks become more important than the Clan's ranks, obviously I'll be established as the leader, and a leader can do what they want, so I'll just behead Normalstar! And I'll have a cult of cats to follow me no matter what I do :D There are plenty of other cult-related benefits if you require their explanation.
Flamepaw: Did you just say cult?
Missingfur: Yes. Yes I did.
Flamepaw: *starts banging head against wall.
Velvetpaw: Valid solution, Flamepaw... also Missingfur... this isn't going to work.
Missingfur: But Wikihow told me how to start a cult! The first step is to chose an obsession—check, we have my missing fur! I'm the leader, or collective, which is the next step along with forming a group. The third step is becoming cultish, but we don't have to try hard for that!
Flamepaw: *continues to bang head against wall.*
Velvetpaw: I'm not helping you with this.
Missingfur: Too bad. You know my name, so you already know a basic prayer of the Missing Fur Cult.
Velvetpaw: *starts padding away.* Bye, Missingfur!
Missingfur: Thanks for praying <3
Brought to you by Rio. ⛈
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Humor[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
