Missingfur: We didn't do nothing for 20 trillion moons, though. Velvetpaw, come over here! *flicks his tail at his (totally not servant) apprentice.*
Velvetpaw: What are you talking about? By the time twenty trillion moons pass, 1,666,666,666,666 human years or something will have passed, and the sun would've expanded, swallowing the earth and ending all life as we know it! *grumbles under her breath.* Now, if only some certain lives would end...
Missingfur: *under his own breath.* Rude... *louder.* Well, guess what I found?
Velvetpaw: *stares at him expectedly.*
Missingfur: You have to actually guess! *rolls his eyes.*
Velvetpaw: Common sense?
Missingfur: Nope!
Velvetpaw: 20 IQ points—I mean, you'd only be in the positives at that point, but that's better than before...
Missingfur: Also nope -___-
Velvetpaw: What about some extra brain cel—
Missingfur: *pulls out a rocketlauncher.* I FOUND A ROCKETLAUNCHER, OKAY? NO MORE GUESSING! ROCKETLAUNCHER.
Velvetpaw: Gotcha... *eyes the rocketlauncher.* So are you just going to blow Normalstar's head off with that? Sounds too effective... doesn't sound like you.
Missingfur: *rolls his eyes.* Obviously not! We're going to strap Normalstar to a rocket, launch it, and watch him die in space!
Velvetpaw: That defies just about every law of physics ever...
Missingfur: Your existence defies every law of physics!!
Velvetpaw: That... that doesn't even make sense.
Missingfur: You don't even make sense!
Velvetpaw: Neither does this conversation. Can we just try your stupid little plan, then fail drastically so I can go sleep and escape the cruel realities of the world?
Missingfur: This is a spoof, not a philosophy class ;__;
Velvetpaw: I can picture my mossy nest right about now.
Missingfur: OKAY FINE! WE'RE GOING NOW!!
Velvetpaw: *sniff.* Thank you.
~ A rocket launcher later...
Missingfur: Hi Normalstar! Do you like rollarcoaster?
Normalstar: *confused.* What's a rollarcoaster?
Missingfur: *continues as if he never heard him.* Alright, let me strap you right here! *starts tying Normalstar to the rocket launcher.*
Rainbownose: *cheerily.* What are you two up to?
Missingfur: Just blasting Normalstar into the sky, you?
Rainbownose: Just watching you blast Normalstar into the sky!
Missingfur: Sweet! *steps back.* Normalstar, you're ready to go!
Missingfur starts toward the socket in a nearby tree, carrying the cord to the rocket launcher.
Sparkwhisker: *pads up to his brother.* What are you doing?
Missingfur: Plugging in a vacuum.
Sparkwhisker: *screams* NO! NO VACUUMS!!!! *tears the cord from Missingfur's paws and chews it apart in a matter of seconds.*
Missingfur: Wh...what.
Normalstar: *disappointed.* I was looking forward to launching into the sky...
Missingfur: It wasn't even a vacuum!
Sparkwhisker: *runs off, because he's high on catmint.*
By Rio ⛈
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Humor[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
