Missingfur: Welcome to the very fourth episode of I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan!
Velvetpaw: What are you going to fail at today—I mean, what are you going to plot today, my amazing mentor?
Missingfur slides a $10 bill under the nonexistant table. Giving him a strange look, Velvetpaw snatches up the money and swallows it.
Missingfur: Wait, what?
Velvetpaw: *snarls* Don't question what I do with my money!
Missingfur: Well, if my plans keep failing, then I'll keep having to pay you to stay here. And if you eat all of your money, then the average price of a dollar bill will go up. Therefore, you will be deflating U.S. currency! *stands dramatically in front of Velvetpaw*
Velvetpaw: You do realize that Warriors is supposed to take place like in Europe or something?
Flamepaw: You do realize that we're cats, and we're not supposed to know this stuff?
Velvetpaw: You do realize that I don't care?
Missingfur: *clears his throat* Anyways. . . Let's get on with this! *jogs over to a large red building* Welcome to McDonald's! May I take your order?
Velvetpaw: Sorry, I'm not American. I don't want to be fat!
Missingfur: Big mac, small fry, coco cola, apple pie! *claps paws together on each beat*
Velvetpaw: . . .
Missingfur: Sorry, I just really wanted to do that. *clears his throat* Let's get on with this!
Velvetpaw: It's been 200 words, and the plan hasn't even started.
Missingfur: YES IT HAS, OVERLY SASSY ASSISTANT!
Flamepaw: *shakes his head as he paces in a corner* Why can't I go to a normal Clan. . . why can't I go to a normal Clan. . .
Missingfur: *gestures toward McDonald's building* I will have Normalstar eat out every night until he's so fat that he has a heart attack!
Missingfur lets out an evil cackle as he walks into the building. He puts on a serving apron and hands one to Velvetpaw, who reluctantly slips into the uniform after swallowing a $50.
Velvetpaw: *grumbling* I guess I'll fetch Normalstar and Rainbownose. . . *jogs off*
Missingfur: *spots Butterfly in a corner of the building, stuffing fries down his throat* Butterfly, come over here! I have a special job for you. . . *le evil grin*
Butterfly: *drops the fries* I WAS FORCED TO DO IT!
Missingfur: *ignores him* I'd like you to work the drive-through.
Butterfly: What do I do?
Missingfur: I think there's a manual over there. *waves his paw at the drive-through window* Just go do it. . .
Butterfly: *mutters to himself as he pads over to the window* But I can't even read.
The bell on the door jingles; in walks Rainbownose and Normalstar, joined by Sparkwhisker.
Rainbownose: Wow! It's so pretty :D *starts chasing a dot of light*
Normalstar: Hmm. . . thank you for the invitation, Missingfur.
Missingfur: Oh, you're welcome! *starts soaking some fries in a bucket o' grease* Would you like something to eat?
Normalstar: Sure! *looks at the menu* Can I have the Big MoleMac?
Missingfur: Coming right up! *starts shoving everything into a bun, including a spatula. Tries to wrap the sandwich but is unsuccessful* Here ya' go! *plops it down on the counter* That's free, since you're such a great leader!
Rainbownose: Ooo, do I get a free burger for being a great deputy!
Missingfur: Nope!
Normalstar: *starts eating his sandwich* This is very. . . abnormal. *starts choking on a spatula*
Sparkwhisker: *is running around, avoiding the 'CAUTION: WET FLOOR' signs when he slides across the slippery ground. He lands on his rump, butt-dialing the Public Health Department and slamming right into Normalstar*
Normalstar: *spits out the spatula* Thank you, Sparkwhisker! You saved me from this floor-food, bacteria breeding ground, cockroach covered burger *spits out a chunk of ABC gum* This McDonald's is the worst
PublicHealthControlface: *from the other end of Sparkwhisker's phone* I think, um, we need to check out that new McDonald's down the road. . .
This was the amazing Rio. Hope you enjoyed <3
And yes, I did write this purely to insert that little paw clapping thing that Missingfur did.
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Humor[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
