J
"Juwie, ikaw na magsasalita..." I heard Rob said. It was lolo's last night and we are all gathered at the chapel for his mass. I looked around and saw everyone waiting for me. Pati si father nakatingin sa akin. I then looked at Rob and he smiled sadly.
"Do I have to?" tanong ko. Marahan siyang tumango saka tumingin kay Elmo na katabi ko.
"Kaya mo yan. You've written everything naman diba?" ani Elmo. I looked at the paper I was holding and nodded. Medyo lukot na ito mula pa kanina dahil sa pagpiga ko rito. He rubbed my back and gave me a kiss on the temple. "I'm here." sabi niya.
Tumayo na ako and stood by the podium. I looked at everyone again and heaved a deep sigh saka na ako nagsimulang magsalita.
"I was 14 when my parents died. Nung nangyari yun, akala ko magiging ulila na talaga ako. Akala ko walang mag-aalaga sa akin. My aunts and uncles are all living in the US kaya inisip ko na hindi ako makakasurvive dito mag-isa. But then, Lolo Jordan went home from California and told me that he will be the one to tale care of me. You see, si lolo kasi is a retired US Army. He has his own home in the US at dun na rin nakalibing nun si lola. Ang naiwan lang talaga dito ay kami nila mama at papa because they were the ones who took care of lolo and lola's business. He went home with lola's ashes nang makarating sa kanila ang balita na naaksidente sina mama at papa. When lolo took me in ay medyo takot pa rin ako. I was an only child and an introvert. Marami akong fears in life. Marami akong tanong. And Lolo Jordan took all those fears away. He answered all my questions. He loved me unconditionally like he was my own parent. Sabi nga nila ang pagmamahal ng lolo at lola ay higit sa pagmamahal ng magulang. Kung ang magulang natin, mahal na tayo na higit pa sa buhay nila, yung mga lolo't lola natin, mas hihigitan pa yun..." I took a deep breath as I continue. "Lolo Jordan became my bestfriend. He was always the first person that I will talk to kapag may mga problema ako or kapag may kwento lang ako. Gusto ko siya ang unang-unang makakarinig. Gusto ko siya ang unang tatawa sa kung ano mang kahihiyan yung nangyari sa akin sa school. Gusto ko siya ang unang matutuwa sa kung ano mang achievements ang natatanggap ko. He was a blessing to me. He has always been... Lolo Jordan was my strength. Habang lumalaki ako, I would always tell lolo na kailangan siya ang maghahatid sa akin sa altare kapag kinasal ako. Gusto ko makikita niya pa yung magiging apo niya sa akin. Gusto ko makikita niya pang magstart mag-aral yung magiging apo niya. Palagi siyang kasama sa plano ko and I never really thought that he is getting older. Kasi kapag magkasama naman kami palagi naman siyang masaya at malakas..."
Huminto ako saglit at nagpunas ng luha. My vision's getting blurry by the minute pero pinipilit kong magpakatatag because I want wveryone to know how great my lolo is. Elmo was on the edge of his seat and was waiting if he needs to come to me pero sinenyasan ko siyang okay lang ako. I will be okay for lolo.
"When I experienced my first heartbreak, he let me cry my heart out and listened to every word I said. Kahit na puro iyak lang ang ginawa ko, he stayed and hugged me like I was this 14 year old Julie he raised. Then he would sing to me. Yung theme song nila ni lola. Yung All The Way by Frank Sinatra. And whenever he does that ay napapawi lahat ng sakit at lungkot na nararamdaman ko. And it was that song... The song that made him finally have his peaceful rest..." humugot uli ako ng malalim na hininga at tumingala pa para pigilan ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko. "Lolo, you are finally reunited with lola. I hope you will have a lot of date nights with her diyan sa heaven. And I know you're with mama and papa too. Please tell them that I miss them every day. Wala ka ng pain diyan lolo. You have all the time in the world to finally play chess again. And you can remember again. Please don't stop watching over me. I love you, lolo."
I went back to my seat and Elmo immediately wrapped me in his arms. I finally broke down but he didn't budge. Niyakap niya lang ako ng mahigpit as he tells me comforting words.
