Chapter 23: Forever Gone?

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There's nothing that compares to what I feel right now. Sadness taints my empty heart. Questions fill my head. Anger boils through my veins. Tears fall from my eyes. Blood falls from my face. I've completely fallen apart. Without her... Without Jenny... I'm back to the dark world I was in before I met her.

I'm alone again. It feels like...

That. All over again.

"Fuck." I mumbled to myself. "Fuck me."

Why was I so stupid? I didn't even do anything to stop her. She died because of me. It's all my fault.

More tears roll down my face, mixing in with the blood from my smile that I reopened. My hands are tangled up in my hair. I haven't showered in a while. My room is probably about 45 degrees Fahrenheit right now, making my body go numb. I don't mind it. Though it hurts occasionally, I manage to stay warm with all the pure vodka and other liquor that I've been chugging down.

I think I may have made a new world record for drinking. 738 bottles of vodka, 282 bottles of Jack Daniels Whiskey, and 958 bottles of lime bud light. Which equals... a couple of gallons of big boy drinks. Of course, I'm as drunk as a fucking bat, and I've been vomiting acid every hour or so because I don't eat anything when I chug the bottles down, but it drowns out the voices that ring in my head.

It drowns the thoughts of Jenny.

"Aye, Jeff," Bens voice echoed in my head. It sounded like we were in the grand canyon, "Slender wants to know if you want anything to eat-"

"Piss off, Blondie." I heard a chuckle. "I got some smokes~"

I sighed standing up, making my way to the door, I stumbled on something. A growl escaped my mouth as I picked it up. It looked like a pink mail thing.

What are they called...? Ehhm... Enler... Ever... Envla...

Envelope!

A pink envelope. I smirked and read the front of it.

To Jeff ;)

I smiled. Seriously? They're trying to give me letters to get me out? Please.

Opening it I smelt a familiar smell. I ignored it as I unfolded it and read.

Jeff,
Your being good right? You better be. Slender's probably having a rough time right now. So don't be a prick and make it harder on him. Same with the others. Except Ben. You got my okay on him.

Anyways, I know your either going to be sad or really pissed off at what I did. What I don't know is what your going to do about your feelings. Hell, if it were me, I'd probably end up lashing out. But... you're different.

Oh, hey! I've actually got something for you besides this dumb letter. If you look under all the junk in your closet, there's going to be a big jar of cheese balls in the corner. Yes, I did notice you cheese ball addiction. So I asked Slender to buy some for you. It's a bye-bye gift from me.

That's not the only thing I noticed though. The way you hold your knife, it's only to make an attack. Which means you usually dodge others attacks. Maybe because you were afraid of being hit if you didn't. I don't really know. But, I noticed that it was like your feelings for me.

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