Locked in school with my crush

Coming to terms

I kissed him. What the hell was I thinking? Oh, I know! I wasn't thinking. I was so caught up in the moment that I completely ignored the fact that I'm with Ethan. I wasn't even acting like myself. I was acting like some girl who doesn't care about anyone but herself!

I was currently lying on my bed. Liam had ended up leaving after the kiss.

I felt awful.

I'm so in love with Ethan what was I thinking?

I then think back to why I let Liam enter my house in the first place. I remember Ethan getting upset over me inviting Liam into my hospital room. Go figure. He would be mad at me for inviting the man who saved me and our child.

I start getting angry again.

It doesn't matter what Ethan did. What I did is much worse.

I groan just as my doorbell rings.

I slowly get up from my bed and head down the stairs. The bell rings again.

"I'm coming!" I say a bit irritated.

When I open the door I see Ethan. His eyes were red and puffy and his eyes were searching the ground.

My heart dropped.

"I-"

He cuts me off. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you over Liam. I was just scared that you might have feelings for him, but I should've trusted you."

Now I felt even worse than I already had. What would I even say to him. He's apologizing for something he was completely right about.

"I- I don't know what to say." I admit.

"Say you'll forgive me." He says, still looking at the ground.

I silently debate to myself. If I forgive him, that means I'm going to be completely lying to him. I've never lied to him before and I sure as hell didn't want to start, but if I don't forgive him because I tell him the truth. I'll lose him.

I stay quiet for a moment and he looks up into my eyes for the first time. His crystal blue eyes are filled with regret.

"I forgive you." I sigh slowly.

He searches my eyes for a sign of relief before pulling me into a hug.

I hug him back, feeling extremely guilty.

"You can come in if you'd like."

He nods before walking into my house. I close the door behind us.

"So, how's your mom been?" Ethan asks as we sit down on the couch.

I sigh. "I haven't seen her much. She's been working extra shifts at work and when she's not working, she's cleaning, or planting, or sleeping. I know she's just trying to keep herself busy, but sometimes I wish she would just be my mom."

He brings me into a snuggle and I rest my head on his chest. He starts playing with my hair. "I'm sure she's just trying to figure out how to cope without your dad."

"I know. Sometimes I wish she'd just get over it though. I know that's awful of me to say, but I can't help it. There's nothing we can do about it now and I really just need a mom."

He stays quiet and continues playing with my hair.

"I'm going to break his heart" is all that I could think to myself.

*

I here my front door open.

"Mom is that you?" I ask from the kitchen.

"Yes, it's me honey." She closes the door and continues walking.

"I'm making dinner. Pasta." I shout.

"Oh, that's kind of you Megan, but I'm not too hungry right now. I really need to clean out the garage. Your father's old fishing gear is taking up half the space."

"Isn't that something that can wait until after we eat dinner?" I ask.

"No, not really. After that I have another shift I need to get to at the company."

I stop stirring the pasta and walk out into the garage to find my mom already shuffling through some boxes.

"Mom, please just take a break." I say taking the box from her.

"Oh. Sweetie I'm fine." She says grabbing the box back.

"I know you're not." I say desperately.

She stops searching through the box and looks into my eyes.

"Mom, I know dad passing has taken a big toll on you, but there's nothing we can do to fix it. I really more than anything need my mom back. Especially now."

Her eyes start watering up.

"I'm so sorry honey, it's just, your dad should still be here. He had such a long life ahead of him and he should be here with us. I know I'm not really in the right state of mind lately and I'm sorry. I'm gonna try harder, I just need time." Tears start falling from her cheeks.

I nod in understanding and pull her into a hug. "I'm here for you mom." I whisper.

*

"What's going on with you?" Lilly asks me as we were switching off classes.

I look at her confused. "What do you mean?"

"Something's bothering you." She says. She actually sounded a bit worried.

"How would you know." I laugh.

"I can tell. I can always tell." She smirks. "It doesn't have anything to do with Liam does it?"

My heart starts to race. "Why would you ask that?" I say nonchalantly.

"Well, he had asked me for your address, so I gave it to him and now you seem uneasy."

"Well I'm fine." I stay quiet for a few more moments before speaking. "Why exactly did you give it to him?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. He just seemed like he really needed to talk with you. Did he ever show up?"

"Um, no. I don't think so."

She eyes me for a minute. I didn't think she bought it but she dropped the subject.

"Well, I'll call you after school okay?"

"Sure." I say before entering my last class.

When I step into the class I see Liam sitting there. For a moment I debated on what I was going to do or say. I felt like I couldn't breath. I quickly, but confidently walked up towards him and spoke.

"We need to talk." I say steady.

"I believe we do." He says staring into my eyes.

I shift my focus to the floor. "Meet me at my house after school."

I then sit down at my seat and stay as focused as possible for the rest of class.

So here's another chapter! I hope you enjoyed.

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