Randomness With Mario & Friends!

5. Peach Vs. Pauline

Adot: This is a one-on-one verbal battle between two well-known and beloved women-

Peach: Wrong! Only one beloved women! 

Pauline: Are you talking about yourself?

Peach: *laughs* See? Not only is Pauline not beloved, she's also really dumb!

Pauline: At least I can spell "kaleidoscope".

Peach: I can, too! K-A-L-E-I-D-E-

Pauline: Wrong! *laughs*

Adot: Peach! Pauline! Don't start fighting yet. Let me explain the rules first. The competitiors are Peach, the kind ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and Pauline, the beautiful manager of the Mini Toy Company! I am the referee. The rest of us, including myself, will take sides. Whoever has more people on her side is, I daresay, the better one and the true match for Mario-

Mario: Umm, Toad- er, I mean Adot, I object. This isn't the way to find out who's a "better match" for me. Besides, I'm perfectly happy with Peach-

Adot: Thank you for your opinion, Mario-

Mario: I'm not finished speaking! I just want to say that this won't change anything. And I bet this thing will result in a tie, anyways-

Adot: Do not interrupt the host, please. Thanks again for your, er, fascinating insights. They are not needed for this battle. And there's a small chance of a tie because I have a feeling you won't take either side, so only 15 people will vote. That's an odd number. Now, enough of your blabbering. 3... 2... 1... GO!!!

Peach: You enrage me, Praline!

Praline, er, Pauline: So? I'm glad! If I were you, I'd HATE myself and commit suicide because no one would want me to exist!

Adot: People can start taking sides now!

Daisy: I'm on Peach's side! She's ma bestie!

Pauline: And I'm not?

Daisy: *checks her besties list* Nope.

Bowser: *wearing a blonde wig, a cheerleader outfit that's too small for him, and makeup* Go, go! Peach is best! Even in a skimpy dress!

Daisy: Ooh, picture moment! *takes a picture of Bowser* This is so going on the Internet.

Donkey Kong: It may not be a banana bunch, but I'm choosing Pauline's side!

Diddy Kong: And I do whatever Donkey Kong does!

Adot: We have a tie! But, that tie is about to be broken because I'm taking Peach's side! *laughs evilly*

Peach: Mario will NEVER be yours! He's mine, ALL MINE!!! *also laughs evilly*

Pauline: Well, he needs better taste! The only time you went to save anyone by yourself, you only succeeded because of your frequent mood swings!

Peach: Well, that's better than not saving anyone at all! Mario has PERFECT taste, loving a princess like I! 

Pauline: Then, Mario must be an optimist because you're so annoying and spoiled! I'm surprised that ANY MAN would love you!

Mario: Ladies, stop fighting!

Peach/Pauline: NEVER!

Koopa: Go Peach!

Dry Bones: Go Pauline!

Koopa: Peach is better!

Dry Bones: Nuh-uh. Pauline is.

Koopa/Dry Bones: *start bickering*

King Boo: Pauline!

Rosalina: Peach!

Luigi: I choose to take Peach's side!

Peach: Look! I have more people on my side! *smirks*

Pauline: They just pity you! I mean, who would want to be stuck with a personality like yours? You're ugly, weak, stupid, selfish, bipolar, spoiled... *keeps naming negative adjectives that describe Peach*

Peach: *after half an hour of Pauline talking* YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!!! *sniffles*

Pauline: *laughs* I wouldn't be jealous of someone who's all of the things I just named.

Toadette: Peach: You're none of the things Pauline said you were! I'm on your side!

Birdo: ... I have to say Pauline got Peach this time.

Wario: Pauline verbally knocked Peach over, leaving the already mental blonde with only 3 words to say. *imitates Peach in a high-pitched, but inaccurate voice* YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!!!

Waluigi: I agree. Peach is such a wimp.

Adot: Ooh, we have a tie! Yoshi will be the tiebreaker. Who's side are you on, Yoshi?

Everyone: *stares at Yoshi intensely*

Yoshi: *blushes and smiles* Pralines and Peaches are both yommy! 

Adot: NO!!! YOSHI REFUSES TO TAKE A SIDE!!! IT'S A TIEEEE!!! *drops to the floor and sobs*

Everyone: *running in circles around Yoshi, screaming, fighting, and crying*

Yoshi: *still smiling, not noticing the chaos around him*

Mario: *to Adot* I told you this would end in a tie.

Adot: Braggart! Hmph. *crosses arms*

Luckily for you readers the updates are gonna keep coming for awhile! Want a spoiler? No? Well, too bad! I'm giving you one- this is not the last chappie that Daisy's besties list will appear in. I personally dislike Pauline tbh. So I'd definitely choose Peach's side. Besides, Peach is my fave Mario character. Do you like Peach or Pauline more? And what do you think about Toad's fabulous new name? Anyways pls add, comment, vote, etc. Thanks! 

- pinkandpeachy