Randomness With Mario & Friends!

23. Goomba Appreciation

Toad: I recently saw this video on the Earth website, YouTube.

Mario: Oh, really now?

Toad: Yeah, here it is.

Everyone: *gathers around and watches the video*

Toadette: Goomba Appreciation?

Mario: Eh, they’re just dumb old critters.

Toad: But, they have feelings too! I invited someone to help me explain.

Goomba: *enters*

Mario: Which one are you? I’ve stepped on at least a million.

Goomba: I’m the very first one you saw. I was at the very beginning of Level 1-1 in the original Super Mario Bros.

Mario: What? It can’t be…

Goomba: You skipped over me and killed the guy after me. He was my next-door neighbor, you know!

Toad: Guys, guys, we’re getting off the subject. So take it away, Goomba!

Goomba: Of course! I’m going to cite one of my brethren, Gaijin Goombah. He’s the one who started the idea! So, where do I start? Oh yes. Every day, Goombas are stepped on, burned alive, frozen to death, smacked in the face with a Koopa shell, or even just tossed into one of those endless pits.

Peach: Wait… The pits in my kingdom are bottomless?

Yoshi: Yes.

Luigi: How do you know?

Yoshi: Mario drop me in pit once.

Mario: *glares at Yoshi for spilling the secret*

Goomba: AHEM. Anyways, when you think of Bowser’s minions, you mostly think of the others, like Koopa Troopas, Boos, Hammer Bros., Dry Bones… The list goes on, but you sometimes forget about the Goombas.

Bowser: Hey, I remember you!

Goomba: Thank you, but please don’t interrupt. Even the other minions are invited into Mario Kart and Mario Parties, but the Goomba only had one playable role, in Mario Super Sluggers. What makes it even worse is that Goombas had some terrible stats.

Mario: It’s not our fault. Maybe you’re really just terrible.

Daisy: Hey! You already treat the Goombas bad enough. Listen!

Goomba: You kill plenty of Goombas for what? 100 points on one of your measly adventures? You may have earned 100 points now, but you’ve got -100 in Heaven. Plus, there’s the GOOMBA MASK. Ohh, how I hate that stupid thing. You know what that is? It’s not some magical present that materializes when you defeat a Goomba. I know that what you’re really doing is using the old skins of some decapitated Goomba as a disguise.

Koopa Troopa: I’m totally pro-Goomba!

Goomba: Thank you-

Dry Bones: I am not so.

Koopa Troopa: Hear the poor guy out! You’re so inconsiderate!

Dry Bones: Why? He’s being a little too sensitive if you ask me.

Koopa/Dry Bones: *start bickering*

Rosalina: Keep quiet. Your unnecessary noise is not music to my ears. Let the guest continue speaking.

Goomba: Thank you, Rosalina.

Rosalina: How do you know my name?

Goomba: There were also Goombas in the Super Mario Galaxy games, you know.

Mario: Oh, the Octoombas! I hated them.

Goomba: They’re related to us and you killed lots of them, too. You see, we are a very diverse species with a diverse culture as well. There’s Goombas, Paragoombas, Micro-Goombas, Golden Goombas, Cat Goombas, Octoombas, Galoombas, Tanoombas, Jack-O-Goombas, and many more!

*Birdo: Are there pretty Goombas?

Goomba: What do you mean?

Birdo: Pretty Goombas… The ones I’ve seen so far are kinda ugly.

Goomba: Well, there’s Goombella.

Birdo: I’ll search her up sometime.

Pauline: Maybe I should create Goomba toys for promotional purposes.

Goomba: We’d appreciate that. Anyways, what do the rest of you think about my speech?

King Boo: Meh.

Donkey Kong: Hey! Didn’t you help in stealing our bananas?!

Diddy Kong: Oh yeah, you did that in SSBB. That wasn’t cool at all!

Goomba: A few of us aren’t very nice, however the majority is kind-hearted but misunderstood.

Wario: Do you like garlic?

Goomba: I don’t really have an opinion about garlic.

Waluigi: Do you exercise a lot?

Goomba: Well, us Goombas are always pacing back and forth, so probably.

Waluigi: I like this guy!

Goomba: Thanks. Well, I gotta go now. I hope I was able to change your mind about Goombas.

Everyone: Bye!

Toad: Let’s talk about Goombas in our book on Wattpad.

We hope this chapter made you have a newfound appreciation for the Goombas! This was inspired by a vid that @awzumnez saw on YouTube. If you wanna watch it then we put it in the multimedia. Btw thank you so much for 3,000 reads on this book! Anyways pls add, comment, vote, etc. Thanks!

- pinkandpeachy