My Dark Poems

On The List

It wasn't a date
You made that clear
You had a list of girls
On your phone that would whisper in your ear
Be dirty
Be a story
A tale to tell to friends
These girls were remembered on a notebook
Words and pictures
To put it back together
Maybe it was the way your hair
Would go in front of your eyes
Or how you knew to take off your glasses
I didn't know that you needed
To
I was lost
You were bold
Put yourself up for rejection
Like it was absolutely easy
I am lost
A lost soul
A lost girl
I don't know what I want anymore
But you spoke of how it would feel good
And I was curious
We got into the backseat
I was awkward
I didn't know how to touch you
But you told me how you wanted to be touched
And I could tell that
In fact it was important
My lips met yours first
You lips met mine next
And after that it was a blur
Of lips
Of tongues
Of arched backs
Of hands
Of kisses
Of bites
Of scratches
And I would pull away
To breathe
This was all to new
All to much for me
You would pull my chin up
And it would begin again
A blur
Of moans
Of groans
Of sucking
Of grinding
You would move me
Change our position with ease
I stayed in the moment
Embraced each and every sensation
Until I could drown
Until I couldn't find myself
In this smell of lust and sweat
I could say I felt this connection
That's what made this special
But I didn't
I connected with the pleasure
I admired the skill
I wasn't however going to
Attach that feeling to the person behind
The touches
And groans
And kisses
I laid on top of you
On the passenger seat
I couldn't sleep though
I wanted more of you
More of your mouth
Of everything you had
But I had to leave
And you needed to leave
And what could we both say
"Well It was fun, thanks"
And I drove home
Blasting music trying to stay awake
At 5 in the morning
It wasn't a date
You made that clear
I wasn't going to be on the list
That was the deal
A secret between two people
That were both fucked up
Both lost
And both who were part of many stories
And many lists