Posted: August. 21, 2016
I go back to school in 3 days... Fuck
I went to a party today for my dads best friend and he's great and everything but I honestly had a terrible time. I was so bored so I left at like four, and came home and slept until nine.
But anyways, enough about my irrelevant ass, I hope you enjoy this chapter.
21. Rowan
"I'm still really sorry" I sigh, leaning against the door frame, as Austin takes off his shirt, tossing it onto the floor.
"I told you, I'm not angry" He chuckles, shaking his head "Can I ask you a question?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Sure" I shrug.
"Why is this now the guest room?" He looks around the room, our old room.
"Just because" I shrug, though it was a lie. I changed it because I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping with someone else, in the bed I used to sleep with Austin. He doesn't push further for an actual answers, he just nods and gets into the bed, promising Amelia he'd stay after her constant begging.
"Are you just going to stand there?" He pats the spot next to him "It'll be like old times"
"I don't know..." I trail off.
"Oh, come on. It's not bad, I'll keep it classy" He smiles, and I sigh looking behind me as if someone would be there to judge me. I bite my lip and shut the door, walking over to the bed and climbing in beside Austin "Thanks for joining me" He laughs quietly.
"Thanks for the invite" I wink.
"Always" He runs his thumb along my cheekbone "I like sleeping with pretty girls"
"Shut up" I roll my eyes playfully, a smile stretching out over my face.
"Have you talked to your mom?" He asks softly.
"No" I huff.
"Rowan, it's been months"
"She hid that fact that she's been in contact with my father for months! Years even! I had to grow up without a dad and that's the worst thing a girl can go through" I say, my voice becoming slower as realization courses through me "And that's exactly what I tried to do with you"
"Don't sweat it" He shrugs "I'm back anyways, you can't get rid of me. But I'm guessing now you understand where your mom is coming from?"
"Yeah, I do" I sigh.
"Good, so can you explain it to me?" He asks "I'd like to know what goes through a moms head in this situation"
"Well, on one hand you want to let them in because you know that a daughter needs their father. But on the other hand it's like, they didn't want to be there so why let them think they can come back whenever they want. It gives them the idea that they can come and go as they please and it's worse that you can't tell your daughter no when they ask to see you. That hurts worse than them leaving"
"I'm sorry" Austin sighs "I didn't know that's how it feels"
"It's okay" I shrug "I'm over it"
"I really want you back" He whispers, his hand resting lightly on my cheek.
"I know" I kiss the palm of his hand, a yawn escaping my throat.
"Go to sleep" He whispers, and he doesn't have to tell me twice before I'm falling asleep.
