Dear Jen

??

August 22nd, 2016

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Dear Jen,

I'm trying to not be nocturnal anymore, but it's taking some effort XD I stayed up all night again, and I fell asleep around 3 pm and woke up at 9. I hope that I'll be able to sleep through tonight. I'm kinda tired.

Most of today was frustrating, kind of? I wasn't in the best mindset at the start of the day, but then I played with one of my guy friends and he was in a really good mood, so I became happier because of that. Then I had to leave because Dark wanted to hang out, and (I think I'm done filtering myself for the most part) I got really mad again today while playing with him. On my game, I bought two really cool items and had them equipped, and I also had done a really hard quest and gotten a really cool sniper, yeah? I was excited for him to see so he could say something nice? He takes one look at me and is like 'those two items were bought, and you're not even using one correctly, and that sniper isn't even that good.' I legitimately almost turned the Xbox off right then and there. He is a veteran of the game but really? Maybe I'm overreacting, but I don't know. There's no way for me not to get mad at him anymore. But then as soon as he had to leave, I got upset and wanted him to stay??? What??? My mind is confusing me XD

People have recently been telling me that if I keep hiding my true feelings that one day I'll just explode, and I've usually thought that I'd never be capable of doing that, but I honestly don't know anymore. There's a lot of things I haven't said to certain people that I feel very strongly about

I just realized that school is like right around the corner. No part of me wants to go back XD

But! I did get to talk to you today, and that was the best part of my day, so thank you (:

I'm gonna go try to sleep now, but I think I just made myself even more upset, so we'll see how that goes XD

Love you!

Mel