Dear Jen

shrugs and poems

September 12th, 2016

.

Dear Jen,

So after I told you about how he said he would talk to me soon, he got really sexual and crap, and I got so mad that I started hyperventilating XD I wrote a whole breakup paragraph because I was so mad, and I almost did it.

But yesterday wasn't too bad. I didn't do much of anything after school except spend three hours writing a poem for poetry xD

This is what I wrote;

The sun slowly slips up the skyline.
Every sleepless night prolongs her insanity.
Nothing and no one can numb her noxious thoughts
When each one pinches her skin and pushes her over the edge.

How is she supposed to breathe
When air has become fatal, flickering flames to her lungs?
Her sanity burns bright beneath her skin,
Creating toxic smoke concealed inside her veins.

She's tried to escape the predator,
But nothing discourages it from scouring for her sweet scent.
The chase will never end, the hunt will never stop,
Not until the fire in her blood runs dry.

I think it's pretty good, but it can definitely be better. She looked a few people's poems yesterday, and her critiques were helpful, so I wanted to try hard to have something good for her to look at. So hopefully that goes well.

But yeah, I was so mad because it felt more than obvious that I couldn't handle him anymore, but I'm still as scared as ever to do anything. He apologized last night for being so tired and busy and not being able to text me, and he said he would be on Xbox later today. And no matter what I try to tell myself, I really want to hangout with him. I don't know why, I know I'll only feel worse afterwards. But I'll feel equally as worse if I skip out on it. I don't know what to do ):

Hopefully you had a good day, and I love you!

Mel