Dear Jen

'Hello'ween (late post)

October 31st, 2016

(this is a tidbit of some past events before I move on xD sorry I haven't posted in so long!)

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Dear Jen,

So holy cow. My weekend went a lot better than I thought it would go. I had a 6 page essay due Tuesday (luckily I chose it on Mormonism, but it's stressful nonetheless), and so I thought I would spend all weekend finishing that up. I didn't xD but I got a good start and a good feel for how long it's going to take me.

What I did do, is I continued to hang out with Noah for a lot of the weekend. He's such a ball of sunshine. He's such a meme xD he's just so funny. We've been texting a lot, and that's fun. He's a really good artist and has an incredible taste in music. Songs I was listening to three days ago are old news now. I'm so happy :D

He's so sweet and we both genuinely enjoy each others' presence and we're easily able to make each other laugh and it's just so nice to have him around.

And you might be thinking that I might rush into another relationship, and I don't want to. If he likes me, that's fine. I might grow to like him too. At least I didn't immediately rush into being his girlfriend two days after I met him. I've known him since like March or April, and we talked occasionally, and he's always been one of my favorite people on xbox. It's just good to have another friend who is so like me.

Oh, so here's my poem that I was telling you about (I've written a lot more since this poem);

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Grief

Defense against unwanted emotions fail,
Seeping through her walls seamlessly.
They infect her mind slowly and completely.
She won't admit the looming presence of her demise.

Her stomach burns with heated hatred,
Hungering for revenge against immortal insults.
Every word from his lips sets a knife to her throat,
Rendering any attempt at retaliation useless.

Mocking mirrors won't reflect what she's failed to become.
Through torture, she's learned to need the pain.
Thoughts of desertion pick, prod at a desperate brain.
She will give anything, clinging to the abuse that makes her whole.

Sanity sliced into shards, each blade cutting deeper than last.
Demons pile on her chest, forcing screams from her heart,
The depth of despair increasing with every sharp shriek.
Every pounding thought pours salt in her wounds.

She finally embraces the demons, intertwining weary fingers.
Together they lay the last brick on impenetrable walls.
Defeated acceptable envelops her complete consciousness.
"I've ruined our lives."

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I'm excited for Danny to come home tomorrow! I don't think I'll be able to stay home from school the day afterwards because it's a pretty busy school week, but that's okay. He'll be here for a while, so there's no need to rush I guess.

(so that was Halloween xD)

i'll make a second post for today's entry, love you ;D