Dear Jen

And Again

August 9th, 2016

.

Dear Jen, 

I keep forgetting to write! I guess it's just hard for me to remember when I don't do anything during the day xD

I've been having a lot of dreams lately because I've been sleeping so much, and of course I can't remember almost any of them. It's made it seem like I have a lot more to tell you xD I think the hardest thing I've had to do these past few days is decide what to eat xD I really don't have much to do at all, and that's made me super worried about school because even during school, if I procrastinated for even just an hour, I became brain dead and had no work ethic. It'll be three months of me doing nothing by the time I get back to school xD If I had been writing this summer, it would have been a little different, but I can't afford to be lazy this year. 

That's the most thinking I've done in the last 48 hours xD 

Another common topic these past few days; my ineptness xD I've been meeting a lot of people on my video game, and I keep making the mistake of telling them I have a mic to use, but I'm too shy. That leads to the same old 'we won't judge you, you don't have to be shy around us.' I always have to use the 'I can't even talk to my family members or boyfriend.' Some of them are even convinced that there's no way I can play with them if I don't talk xD But yeah, I met a few guys last night, and they live like an hour away! I know it's not exactly smart to tell people over the internet where you live, but I always trust people too easily, and I did start this paragraph off by saying I was inept xD they were really genuine guys, but I don't think I'll be able to play with them again. I'd have to be the one to ask to play, and I can never bring myself to do that.

Also, I've come to realize how dating works, or is supposed to. Before I met my boyfriend, I was really confused at how it worked. Like, how could you not offend someone by going out with multiple people? My relationship has kind of ruined dating for me already. A lot of the guys I've met, from both Xbox and a few from real life, have personalities that are really great and such, and I get a little upset that I don't get to get to know them more just because I already have a boyfriend. I'm glad I've learned that, though.

Having a boyfriend has helped me learn more about life and myself than I think anything else would have at this point in my life, so I'm grateful for that, at least. 

Hope your week doesn't kill you! And I'll make sure to write more, because there are a lot of feelings that I can talk about to you that I haven't yet xD

Talk to you again tomorrow! Love you!

Mel 

p.s. low key hope Dark doesn't read this