Dear Jen

Hello

August 3rd, 2016

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Dear Jen, 

This is obviously in response to your book, and when I first saw the notification for the book, I was kind of jealous that I hadn't thought of such a good idea xD 

It'll take me a while to catch you up on how I'm feeling, more so mentally, because there is a lot of that. I'm so glad you know now. It may not be true, but it really feels like absolutely no one but God cares most of the time. But the surest person I have, other than God, is you. And I really like that and want to take advantage (not in a bad way xD) of that more often. Hence the book!

Unlike your book, one of the purposes to writing this isn't to get myself writing again. I don't think it's for me anymore. I may change my mind in the future, but at the moment, I can't and don't know how to get back into writing after being gone from it for so long. It feels good when I can write, but the last time I felt that was a long time ago. I think it's gone for now. Maybe for good. We'll see. 

Physically, I still haven't been good. TMI alert, but today I randomly got diarrhea, and the initial pain of it was so bad that I nearly passed out on my way to the bathroom xD Not fun, I'll tell you. These past few days have been better, but that may just be because I've been absolutely enveloped in a video game. I'm already halfway caught up to everyone else who's been playing the game for the two years it's been out, and it's only been three days for me xD 

I am going to the doctor's tomorrow, though. A neurologist, I believe. Probably going to have some bloodwork done, and then an MRI the next time I visit, so hopefully they'll be able to figure out something wrong with me. My symptoms are a lot like Mom's, but she doesn't know about my. . .depression thing. And if you've told her or anything, that's okay, honestly, but I just haven't known how to say much. 

But for now, I am getting pretty tired, and I have to get up kinda early tomorrow to take a shower, which is a mission on its own xD

I'll try talking to you everyday because it gives me something to do, and it's a good way to tell you what's going on in my life (: 

 Love you!

Mel <3 

p.s. probably gonna put a song that i'm obsessed with down here every once and a while, just an fyi