Dear Jen

sigh

September 11th, 2016

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Dear Jen,

So I woke up today around 12 even though I didn't want to, didn't write poetry, didn't go to church (obviously) and played video games. Whoo me! I'm a great person! 

Dark texted me earlier and said his cousin had been over but that he was leaving today, and then didn't say anything to me until a few minutes ago. He texted me and said he was going to go to sleep, but he decided to text me instead, which is nice, I guess. At this point, I feel it would be better if we just never talked again xD But he just went to take a shower, and he asked if he would talk to me in a little bit, and I said yeah, but I'm debating on whether or not to try my hardest to fall asleep before that can happen xD 

I don't know how to act towards him anymore. Should I be myself apologetically so that he'll (hopefully) grow to hate me? Or just close myself off from him as much as possible? The latter seems like a good option, but I don't think I have much control over what my brain thinks is right or not in certain moments. 

I hope you've had a good day, and I love you! 

Mel