Dear Jen

wow

September 7th, 2016

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Dear Jen,

Well. I tried to make it a good day. But guess who messed it up? 

It was 8:30 and I was like, 'okay Dark isn't on, which is fine, so I'm gonna have fun for my last day and play some relaxing games that won't make me upset or anything.' But then Dark gets on and he expects me to know everything about this stupid quest that's really hard and he keeps making subtle hints that I'm messing up until I completely mess it up and we have to do it all again. And then it didn't even work after the second time because we did it wrong. And yeah he had a bad day, but it was just so obvious that the whole thing was my fault, and he was pretty upset. 

So he was like, "I'm going to bed." And I'm like great he's going to bed upset again. So I told him I'm sorry it's frustrating, and he said he had a bad day, and that it wasn't my fault, but obviously it kind of was, and it was obvious I was upset. Then he's like, "I'm trying to be happy for you." jgdfkjgsnuredngkjk and immediately I feel ten times worse! I can't win. I cannot win. I don't know if I'm so upset just because I have a lot of stress on me already or if I would have reacted this way normally. 

But I think it's more than obvious that doing this stuff and then messing it up like I have been upsets me. So maybe, I don't know, maybe, it would be common sense that I'd really not like to do this anymore?? Next time he asks me to do something so freaking stupid and dependent on me I'm going to beg him to let me not do it. Get someone else to freaking do it because I hate being the reason you get so upset over a video game! Ugh!!!!!!!!!! 

I'm trying so hard not to cry because I'm still downstairs and I don't want anyone to see, but it's not helping my sore throat situation so I'll stop ranting unnecessarily and go to bed already. 

This is going to be something hellish when school comes. I can't have this on top of everything else. Maybe I'll just uninstall that freaking game. Then uninstall my freaking boyfriend

I hope you had a good day, and I hope you have a good one tomorrow, too. I love you 

Mel