Dear Jen

Whoops

August 30th, 2016

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Dear Jen,

I'm not feeling too great today, but thank you for asking (: Mentally, I haven't had much time to think about much, since I accidentally slept until 6 pm, hence the title xD 

I told Mom that I would go to bed really early last night, but then I was trying to get something done in my video game, and before I knew it, it was 4:30 am xD then I tried to fall asleep, but that failed, and then I got really hungry xD so I had some breakfast and then went to sleep. I planned on getting up at 12 pm so I could have some lunch and hopefully wake up, and I could have, but when I woke up around 12, I wasn't feeling good at all, so I figured it was just better to go back to sleep. And now it's 1 am and I'm not tired but I really do need to go to bed xD 

Dark and I watched more Ouran today, but there were no deep 'conversations' again. He told me after one episode that he needed to get to bed early, and whenever he says he has to go, I sigh to myself, then quickly get over it, and tell him goodnight with a reluctant smiley face. Well this time, he was quiet for a minute, and then asked, "Why don't you ever complain?" And I told him, "Because I know it's no use." And he asked me if I'd wanted to complain, and I said yeah, but what would be the point of that? School is more important than all but a few things at this point in life. Especially anime xD He tried telling me we would watch one more, but I brought up the fact that the next two episodes went together and that it would be best to watch them together. So he went after complaining that he wanted to prove a point (which i'm not sure what point that would be), and yeah. Why do I get so upset when he has to leave? Like I legit almost cried earlier. At points like this, when everything is so jumbled and I don't know how to feel about anything, I really just want to give up. I know I can't, but then I think how I'm not able to do anything very useful anyway. And I still don't know what to do xD 

I would go on and on, but I do need to go to bed, and I don't want to make myself upset when I can avoid it.

I hope you have a good day tomorrow! Love you! 

Mel