Everything Would Change

Made In The USA

Hey Guys!! I am SO SO sorry for not updating sooner! Life gets busy a bit of writers block hit but I promise I'll be back every Friday from now on! I hope you enjoy!

Mac

I went straight to my cupboard and found a pair of navy blue track suit pants, rather than my usual grey, and my baby blue long sleeved shirt and took them with me to the bathroom. I made sure to the lock the bathroom door too, just in case, before I sat down on the floor and pulled a blade out. I had managed to hide the rest of them, in weird places, like taped to the inside of my guitar and taped to a coat hanger. I stripped down to nothing and sat on the edge of the bath, I wanted to do it on my arms but what if Demi saw. It's so complicated having to try and hide it constantly.

I put the blade down on my leg and was about to push down when I hesitated, I'm with Demi...my dad is signing over custody and I never have to go back so why do I still want this so badly? I hated my dad and I knew he hated me, I mean why else would he beat and rape me? I thought...I guess I thought that even though all of that happened he still at least cared. What a big fucking joke. I shook my head, getting rid of the thoughts of hesitation, and push down hard on the blade puling it across my thigh. I watched as the blood slowly rose to the surface. I waited, just staring at the blood, and then wiped a tissue over it and made another. I ended up with 5 cuts on my thigh before I got frustrated and pulled my left sleeve up. I made sure to pull it up above my elbow and I cut directly under the elbow crease. Hopefully high enough up that Demi won't find out.

I slid the blade across my wrist and sighed, god that felt good. I slid it across again, this time I bit my lip as I dug the blade in deeper. I couldn't stop the scream and knew Demi would come up soon to check on me, but fuck I hadn't meant to push down that hard. I looked down and saw a giant gash 3 inches long and an inch wide. Fuck. This was not good, okay okay, I need to, I need to breathe and not panic. Do NOT panic. I'm panicking, what am I doing? Oh god. I should call Demi. I should scream or something, I quickly grab a towel and press it hard against my wrist. No need to panic, it has pressure on it and I will be fine.

Or at least I could have been fine if I didn't hear Demi banging on my bedroom door "Baby girl, you can't lock your room on me! Open up now!" I cringed and yelled back "Just a minute, I'm just, just give me a minute!" shit she is going to bust me. Fuck. I jumped up from the bathroom floor and my head spun, the room turning upside down "fuck" I muttered before I shook my head and kept going to the bedroom. I unlocked the door and Demi rushed to the doorway "what happened, why did you lock the door?" I sighed and Demi's eyes snapped to mine "Uh..baby girl...you're umm only in a towel...well two towels actually and umm do you want to put some clothes on?" she rambled her cheeks turning pink.

That's when I panicked and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I heard Demi try to catch the door before I could shut it, her palm connected with the door just as I flicked the lock and she started banging on the door immediately "Baby girl, please come out! What happened!? BABY OPEN THE DOOR!" I could hear the panic in her voice and my mind was getting cloudy again, I couldn't stop the room spinning this time though. I tore my towel off and shoved my sweats on. I dropped the towel covering my arm and despite the giant blood stain it had at least stopped bleeding. I shoved my shirt over the cut and hissed as the fabric brushed over them.

I quickly unlocked the door and let Demi in, she fell to her knees next to me and engulfed me in the biggest hug "Jesus kid, you could've just told me you were changing I nearly had a heart attack! Hey...heart attack" and I was left with Demi crying with laughter. What a fucking ass hat "You're hilarious Dem, laughing at your own lyrics" she shot me a look before sitting up and turning serious.